Out of Touch

The new year is right around the corner. This is the time of year where celebrations pop off and so forth. Alcohol is always a dangerous fire-starter. I understand that people will have a couple drinks and have fun, but at some point logic has to take over. A couple days ago, I ran into an old friend from high school that I hadn't seen in a couple years. During the course of our conversation, he asks me if I had heard about our old teammate and his classmate. I hadn't but I knew from the way that he asked me that I wouldn't like his answer. There was that very brief awkward moment of silence then he finally tells me that our friend is dead. The past few years have hardened me. Since my ninth grade year in high school, I have lost nearly ten of my friends. Three of those have been killed by a drunk driver. Maybe I'm just a lame ass dude because I don't drink. But there is something wrong with that picture. My hometown doesn't have more than twenty thousand people there. How could I lose that many? I'm only twenty seven. I shouldn't be going to funerals for my peers. Now maybe anybody who wonders why I trash my hometown every chance I get will understand where I'm coming from. It's like a black hole. Even if you get out, it still touches you, directly or indirectly. It is what it is I guess. I can't fail for them. It doesn't even matter what I do.

Family

I'm not sure, but I think some big major holiday just passed. Anyway, I gathered with my family as always and it was fun as always. Of course I felt like a bum when I got there because I was under the impression that we weren't exchanging gifts. I was given gifts but came in empty handed. Cold-blooded. I had no choice but to accept my gifts. What else could I do? So we always sit around and talk. This time I went through all those pictures from my younger days. I couldn't help but smile at my baby pictures. And then from that comes the stories from my childhood of things that I don't even remember. Ahhh the good old days...I can never go back. Looking at my pictures can be confusing because it would appear that I have a twin that is about ten years older than me. Every family has a story, but I'm not going to dig into all that here. Those issues existed and they probably still do. So be it. I love my family and it's always nice to get a surprise from one of them. This is not the platform for me to vent about my family, but I wish things were a little bit different. Maybe eventually things will go back to the way they were.

Tiger Strikes

It's funny how quickly things can fall apart. Everybody has an opinion about the Tiger Woods situation. Of course I have an opinion on it too. Well...oh well. Celebrities are held to such standards that it's not fair. There are so many layers to touch on here that I don't know where to start. It's not even a story to me because I don't care what Tiger Woods does. He has nothing to do with me. Secondly, all these people talking about what a scumbag he is and what not should honestly shut up. We don't know what was going on so we can't speak about it. It's not fair to him. I'm not exactly coming to his defense because I don't know what I'm defending. I don't know what happened. Why should I care anyway? Tiger is a man just like me. We all make mistakes. It's just that Tiger's mistake has cost him much than any I have made. Now all these companies are trying to get away from him and one ended it's relationship with him completely. The same thing happened to Kobe Bryant a few years ago and now he's the most popular player in the game. Tiger made golf what it is today. He really is the reason why Blacks even pay attention to golf. Golf has always felt like it was created to keep us away since it started in country clubs. As much as he has tried to downplay his ethnic makeup, he's still got some Black in him and there are those who can't wait to see him fall on his face. It just seems like the election of Obama has just helped awaken some old racial tensions that will probably never disappear. It is what it is. I don't know all the details, nor do I care. I'm tired of hearing about it. What he does off the course shouldn't matter. Athletes are role models, but when they fail there is no reason to tear them down. There are normal people who go to work everyday and pay their bills on time who are role models. For once Tiger Woods knows what it's like to be a Black man in America.

Fear

Growing up is a hard thing to do at any age. When I was younger, I was afraid of the dark like many other kids. It didn't help that I had an older brother who enjoyed getting under my skin. So he would drag me in a dark room, knowing I was terrified and would scream and kick to not go in that room. But he was stronger than me so it never really worked. Now that I'm older, I have different fears. Failure is one of my biggest fears, so that drives me to avoid risks. That in turn makes me a bit more boring than I care to be. I can change that, but I don't know if I will. About a year ago, I was told that I didn't have cancer. Fear was in the back of my mind for about two weeks before I was told that. I try my best to play my feelings close to the vest, but sometimes my acting skills leave me. My emotions have been much harder to control lately. Maybe it's because I don't care as much as I use to. Or maybe it's that I care too much to let things just be taken out of context. I don't know anymore. Right now I'm having a problem to commitment. It has always been hard for me to commit to a difficult decision, but I make better decisions than I give myself credit for. I mean I made the move up here all by myself. Now I have some much bigger decisions to make regarding work, relationships, money, family etc. I'll admit that there is still a chance that I'll waffle on whatever decisions I make, but at least I can admit that I have a problem here. I just don't want anything to blow up in my face. I guess that's just my fear of embarrassment.

Changes

Today is the first of December. I woke up this morning and found frost on my windshield. Last month I went on vacation for about a week. I had the chance to step back from my normal routine and see things from the outside. I don't know how or when but something has to change. I don't like my current routine. It just feels stagnant. There is so much out there for me to do. I know that I have better options. I'm not use to staying in one place much longer than I've been here. So it's like I have this itch. The only way for me to scratch it is to leave. My past vacation was spent scouting out an area that I was interested in moving to. Until I figure out what I want to do, I'll keep searching. During my vacation, I spent a large amount of my time with my father. Advice was being thrown at me left and right. But I wasn't being preached to. It was more of a call and response type of thing. I was basically wanting to see how he felt about whatever I asked. I listened to him, and I would make my move from there. Only time will tell what happens from there. I think that he could sense that I was so desperate for a change that I was willing to move somewhere that I would regret. So I won't be moving to the place that I visited, but I have a better idea of what I'm looking for. Will I have a family to travel with me or will it just be a road dog? I don't know but that may be something that is changing soon also. So much can happen in just a couple weeks.

I'm Dying

Today is my birthday...I'll officially be twenty seven around ten o'clock tonight. Everyday I get closer to the end of my journey. I feel much older than my age. That probably because of so many outside factors. I have never been one of those people who searches for the meaning of life or anything abstract like that. I always felt like there are some things that were never meant to be understood, and life is one of them. So while I complain about getting just one year older, someone else's life is coming to an end, probably at this very moment. The cycle continues. So it's very frustrating to see and hear something new everyday about health care reform, but no movement on the issue. I hate hearing all the talk. I'll pay attention when something is finally done about it. Meanwhile, people are still dying. I'm on the fence on the issue. A better way of saying it is I'm indifferent. I'll just stay Black and die, with or without health care reform.

Goodbyes

So it's over. Now what? There is no beef. Growth is a continual thing and at some point paths veer off in different directions. Now we're getting old. We're past the point where we can say ten years from now we'll be doing things. We said that ten years ago. It's time to move on and that has to be accepted before any kind of closure can take place. That word is always thrown out. Closure. What does that really mean though? That word takes on a certain meaning when it is concerning relationships. Closure basically means it's over. All parties involved have moved on. So now I'm back to square one again. Well, I can't say that because I knew this day would come. It just wasn't in the cards. I can't predict the future nor do I claim to be able to. So now here we are. It's over. Wishing nothing but the best for each other is all that's left. We can't be friends again. The hardest part is accepting that you may never see each other again. But I'm not hard to find. Until then, goodbye.

No Apologies

I have to get up on my soap box for a minute. Lately it seems like I've been questioned on so many decisions that I've made or haven't made. I'm tired of having to explain my actions. I'm tired of people looking for an explanation from me. There is always a point where you don't want to do it anymore. Nearly everything that I do has a reason behind it, regardless of what I actually say. In my mind, I know why I did whatever it was that I did. So no explanation was needed. I don't understand that whole idea of the question "Why?" I can't act like I don't do the same thing though. It just irks me when I get second guessed so often. It gets under my skin pretty easily. Alright, I just had to get that off my chest. Back to what I do.

Inspiration

Days pass and the bags under my eyes multiply. My body aches and I can feel the aging process speeding up every second. I watch the clock from my bed and it watches me back. Another month arrives and nothing new comes with it. I listen to stories of what drives people, what makes them get up every morning. Some answers are obvious, others more obscure. My inspiration is the people that get in my ass about what I need to do. My dad is one of the only people I know who can chew me out without raising his voice. My friends always tell me how good my writing is. My brother never tells me what I want to hear. I don't have a child looking up at with me bright eyes to motivate me. My wife hasn't presented herself to me just yet. So it's up to me to find inspiration for myself. There are so many things that I want to do. I have to find a way to get them done. That Marvin Gaye movie would be worth it to me, but that's something for later down the road. Only a few know that I'm even thinking of doing that. All I need is a foot in the door. I have always felt like I was meant to do more that work at a retail store. I'm wasting my God-given talent there and I know it. I sit back and watch some of these other people that I'm openly critical of making moves and the jealousy seeps out. Not envy of their talent, but envy of their platform. These clowns have the spotlight, but not talent deserving of it. I shouldn't call them clowns, but this is my platform and that's what I choose to call them. So, like I was saying, these clowns should just go away. I won't name names but my people in my circle know some of the names anyway. Right now I'm listening to Eric Roberson's new album. He should be so much more well known along with some of the people featured on his album. But we're all subjected to...I won't even go there. So right now I'm just waiting on the next person to talk bad to me.

Heartless

Am I too young to be going through a midlife crisis? Probably so but I still feel like I'm going through one. For some reason I'm not passionate about anything or anyone. Most days are spent going to work and coming home trying to figure out what my next tattoo is going to be. Going through that helped my realize that I wasn't passionate about anything. Not anything significant. I wear my heart on my sleeve but I have no heart. Not for anything tangible at least. I have plenty of heart for things like...losing sleep, peanut butter, and ITunes. But those things won't last. I don't come home to a wife and kids, I hate my job, Nas doesn't make enough music, and all of my sports teams are terrible. Everything that I have heart for has a "but" attached to it. I love my family, but I don't show it anywhere as much as I should. The first vehicle that I thought I loved so much was almost traded in. I love to write, but I have editing my work. I would cook everyday if I didn't have to clean up afterwards. Nothing is cut and dry with me. I'm a classic procrastinator which doesn't the situation because I think too much. I love to point out my own flaws but I never do anything to change them. So in the end I have no one to blame but myself for the way things are. In the end, I could be so many things and I still have plenty of time. That's the same thing I said five years ago.

When the Well Runs Dry

It's been a while since I had something to say here. It seems like I have writer's block or something. Of course I have things to say. But what's the point? Right now it seems like all the news is always bad. Parents killing their children, health care steadily being drained, justice never being served, and so on and so on. It's boring to me. Maybe I'm not the writer that I think I am. I know that can't be true. Anyway, life continues, boring or not. So I guess I'll continue to be the mouthpiece for something or somebody.

Amazing

So I'm driving home and I'm stopped a red light. To my left is a quiet neighborhood. Flapping proudly in the wind in the backyard of one of the houses was a confederate flag. I had been down this same route many times and never noticed it. Race is something that we tend to sweep under the rug. Yes, we have a Black president. But the blatant hatred continues. Yesterday I bought a picture book with pictures mainly from the civil rights movement. It's amazing to see pictures of people being blown away by hoses hooked up to fire hydrants. Then you have that clown calling Obama a racist when it's the other way around. There's this misconception that these problems mostly exist in the south. That's not true. It's just as bad in the north. Recently my family made a trip to Chicago and on the way there, we stopped south of Chicago. The restaurant we ate at didn't seem to have any Blacks working or eating there. Of course when we were seated, we were put almost as far from the entrance as possible. Maybe I'm blowing that out of proportion, but I look at things like that in Black and White. We all mentioned the situation amongst ourselves, but in the end it didn't matter. We were paying customers so we would get what we wanted anyway. It's just irritating. It's all the same...I get so tired of talking about race. But somebody has to do it.

The Pursuit of Madness

It's amazing how fast things can turn our world upside down. One minute everything is lovely, the next it's completely different. Sometimes we let our emotions get the best of us. The battle is waged daily between the heart and the brain; pain vs. love. It will always seem like the two go hand in hand. The two should be separated sometimes. Sleepless nights, wrinkles grey hair are not the way to go. Stress can drive you crazy. It's not healthy and we shouldn't do it. We all know that too. That doesn't change anything. Gut feelings aren't always right. But how do we just disregard something that just feels right? If it's not good for us, it's time to walk away. Other factors will always motivate us too. Bills keep us at a job we can't stand even though we know it's not taking us anywhere. "Love" keeps us in relationships even though we know we'll get hurt in the end. Is it good for us in the long run? Nothing is so cut and dry. There is always another side that keeps us in the same spot. We hold out hope that something will change eventually. In the meantime, we're going crazy. What hurts us is the same thing that we think will soon lead to happiness. Madness ensues. Happiness all depends on the individual. What makes one person happy might get on my nerves. I'm guilty of not always doing what makes me happy, but I won't do anything that makes me miserable too long. I know when it's time to get out. I'll never let it get too far gone. This is the life we chose. We deal with the decisions we make daily, for better or worse.

A Spade Will Always Be A Spade

I'll probably get in trouble for this one, but I'm just speaking my mind. Maybe I'm biased because I'm really just defending my boy Nas. The main issue is spousal support. Let me be clear; I'm completely against deadbeat dads and I understand that women need money to take care of children. But at some point, an adult has to be an adult. I always talk about how marriage is such a big step. Two becomes one for as long as the marriage lasts. Once it ends though and there are kids involved, it gets ugly. The parents squabble over small things while the kids suffer. It's hard to feel sorry for a capable adult who relies on their former spouse for support once the marriage ends. There are so many single mothers out there who work and take care of their kids while going to school. They don't need anybody to take care of them. I don't know why a judge would allow them to keep the same lifestyle that they had when they were married. To me, "were" is the key word here. It almost seems like punishment to force the man to pay above his means to support his former wife and kids. That is why marriage is not on my radar right now. I don't have time to spend in court dealing with something like this. When the wife gets more than she deserves and then goes back to the court and asks for more, she looks bad. I didn't use the word that I wanted to there because this is a family blog. I can't know details, but I call it like I see it. Johnnie Taylor made a song called "It's Cheaper to Keep Her." Yes it is. Make sure she really loves you for you and not anything else. Or you could be singing the blues.

First Period

Today was the first day of school for some. I remember those days. I'll admit it; when I started school I was a crybaby. I cried the first day of school in kindergarten and first grade. I was use to being at home with my mom. I didn't want to go to some strange place where I didn't know anybody. I got over that eventually. Then it became an adventure because it seemed like we moved every couple years. That became frustrating because it made it impossible to get settled in. When it happened, I didn't like it. But now that I'm older I completely understand why it was done. Part of me misses those days. There was no sense of the reality that was waiting for me once I got done with school. It was fun then. The classes were alright, but it was really all about recess. Those days were spent trying to impress the girls playing basketball since that was my game. That trick always worked, even when the sport changed. Later it became football and sometimes track that impressed the ladies. Of course it wasn't all about the ladies in school. There was some learning going on too. The teachers that made the most impact on us always stay with us. Unfortunately, I don't remember too many of them. I don't have a story like the movie "Lean on Me." I remember the people in my classes more than anything else. Either way school was an important time. I truly believe that all teachers are underpaid. Their job is so important to our development as adults. For some students, the teachers become a third parent. With no parents around, school can be the only thing standing between these kids and trouble. So good luck to all those going back to school. Enjoy it...because it won't last forever.

Second Chances

It's funny how there is always talk of getting second chances in this country. That seems true unless u mess with animals. I spoke on Micheal Vick a while back and now here we are again. I'm not really surprised that his signing with the Philadelphia Eagles has been received this way. I don't have any pets so maybe I can't really speak on the passion behind it. But some of the pet-lovers' reactions are ridiculous. We all know what he did was wrong and it's crazy to fight dogs, but he deserves a second chance just like everybody else. It happens all the time. Me being me, I have to mention the racial undertones that I see in almost everything. The dictatorship of Roger Goodell is out of hand. Vick shouldn't be suspended any games now since he was suspended while he was in prison. Matt Jones was caught cutting cocaine with a credit card, but he was only suspended three games and didn't really spend any time in jail. Strictly football-wise, Matt Jones was a bust while Micheal Vick was a game changer. So the spotlight is much larger on Vick and therefore he has a chance to really affect dogfighting in the inner cities. Yet PETA and The Humane Society are both so arrogant and annoying that they feel that the Eagles should have contacted them before signing Micheal Vick. Why? I would not have contacted them either if I were running the show. I wouldn't care what they thought about it. It makes no sense to see protesters at a press conference for a signing in football. Don't they have better things to do? Protesting doesn't do anything anyway. It's not the 1960's. Nobody cares. Why weren't those same people protesting when Sean Bell was murdered? There's something wrong when animals become more important than humans.

Allergies

I think I need to change the way I answer a certain question whenever it's asked. For all these years I never thought I had any allergies. But I've had an epiphany; I'm allergic to stupidity. I've always been around dumb people but I could always laugh them off. Now it's different. Now I have small spurts of road rage. When people say dumb things, it honestly makes me a little upset. I have to admit that I haven't put on my thinking cap since about second grade so I say some things without thinking. But some of these cats are outrageous with it. Maybe they're just a product of their environment. I don't know. It's hard to read e-mails littered with misspelled words and poor grammar. And yes I understand writing doesn't come easy to everyone. But there is almost always a spellcheck on any system. It's there for a reason. If a mid-sized SUV is coming at you, I promise you won't win that battle. So why do so many act like they can't get hit and walk in the street? It's mind-boggling. Why do people come to work and get pissed when someone tells them to do something? Why do athletes cheat when they know they will get caught? There is no way anybody should be getting suspended for steroid use in baseball since they started testing. It's stupid. I can't call it anymore, but I can name it; Idiotology. That sounds right. Even an idiot can understand that.

Ice Cold

So what's the definition of "cool"? I don't know. I didn't invent the word so I can't really speak on that. I hear that I'm too cool to do something that I don't want to do all the time. That's the first thing that pops out someone's mouth. I don't want to "walk it out" at a family reunion because I'm too cool. Or I won't dress down because I'm too cool. Not one thought goes into the fact that I don't want to do those things. It has nothing to do with being cool. Do I think I'm cool? Yes I do and there's nothing wrong with that. I'm not the authority on coolness. Somebody might think I'm just the lamest dude in the world. I don't really care so that doesn't matter. Everyday I see people walking around looking like somebody from the movies, videos etc. and it's funny to me. Trends determine what and who is cool. I don't get it. If I get along with you personality-wise, then you're cool to me. Of course there are always people that I don't get along with in a certain setting that can be so cool in a different setting. That's just natural. People change depending on their surroundings and the situation. The same things that make people look lame could make them look awesome to the next person. Was that lame to just say awesome? Who cares. I say it all the time. It's a funny word to me so I'll continue to use it. This is just a boring rant from a lame dude. Never mind me. I'm freezing though........

Huge Letdown

I have to show my dorky side for a minute. I was dying to see the new Transformers movie. Earlier this year when they started showing those teaser trailers for the movie, I was excited just like the rest of the world. The months leading up to the release only drove up anticipation. Then it finally came out. Wow. What a huge letdown. I'm not a big fan of cop outs. There have been so many times when these big time directors just throw a bunch of action scenes together and call it a day. That's a huge cop out. Keep the story fresh. We don't want to see all those explosions and dumb ass stories. It all has to play out together. Critics have bashed the movie and moviegoers are showing they lost interest after seeing it the first time. It's hard to live up to that much hype but they didn't even try. I place to blame mostly on the director. Micheal Bay likes to talk like he's some great director who has made actor's careers, but he honestly sucks. I can't name one above average movie he has made. Steven Spielberg would have never made this movie. Maybe I'm just being too hard on this movie. Who really cares? It made more money that I could even imagine and it's one of the top ten highest grossing movies of all time already. So it's hard to knock what happened. I'm just giving my opinion just like I always do. I can't tell anyone to not go see this movie. Just calling it like I see it.

Married Life

I feel like I have to put a disclaimer on this entry so here it is; I'm not married. I'm just speaking from the outside looking in and from what my idea of what marriage should be. So many times you see people get married at a young age and soon after they get divorced. Me, personally, I just think that's a very bold move to make. At the time, couples don't think they or it will end in divorce but things change. We all think we have a good idea of what makes us happy until our world gets turned upside down. People fall in love with their complete opposite, someone bad for them, so on and so on. Anytime you have to question why you're in a relationship, it's probably time to get out. Older people look at us successful bachelors and bachelorettes and wonder why we're still single. I'm taking my time. I don't want to regret the decision years down the road. You have family and friends come together for this glorious occasion and then years later a divorce comes. It's big letdown and money wasted. But then again, we can't predict the future. That's why I play everything by ear now. No need to jump into anything so fast. People who are really looking out for you will always tell you to wait and make sure it's right. That's why I'm married to me before anybody else. I have to figure out who I am and accept that before even thinking of marriage. That's not to say I haven't ran into some potential wives because I have. But I don't want to make a mistake. I do hope for the best for those who are married. Here's to the married life!!!

Tone It Up

Nowadays we tend to get caught up in appearances. To some dudes, skin tone has an affect on their attraction to a lady's physical appearance. Some women have the same mentality. There are a couple ways to tackle this topic. On the surface it doesn't appear to be a big deal, but there is an underlying meaning behind even this subject that was inbedded in our heads years ago. But I'll get into that later. Beauty is always in the eye of the beholder. We all have preferences on appearance. In that way, it's not a big deal. It can be irritating though. Honestly, I get tired of guys saying that a woman looks better because she has dark skin. That touches on a bigger issue that have with this topic. Somewhere along the lines we were brainwashed to believe that Black was ugly. There was a time when magazines, television, movies, etc. only had white faces on them. So we thought that was what it meant to be beautiful. All the models were white. Light skinned women became the "in" thing. Micheal Jackson is a very good example of that mentality from the male perspective. He bleached his skin to the point that he didn't even resemble his own baby picture. To me, this is just another form of self hatred. I don't have a preference on skin tone. Beauty comes in all colors. Physical features are more important than tone to me anyway. Halle Berry, Sanaa Lathan, and Gabrielle Union are all beautiful with different skin tones. Of course I'm really just speaking about Black women. You know I'm all about us. I like dark chocolate just as much as I do milk chocolate. It's all the same to me. Maybe one day we can stop saying which skin tone is back in style. Black never goes out of style. Black goes with anything.

Edit Profile

OK, now it's time for me to get away from speaking from my heart. Now I'll let my gut speak for a minute. It's time for me to tackle some issues again. Yesterday Dr. Henry Louis Gates Jr. was arrested. People get arrested everyday so why is this a big deal? He's one of the leading Black scholars in this country and probably the world. The fact that he was arrested for basically breaking into his own house may lend credence to those who think this whole story is blown out of proportion. But it's not to me. We finally have a Black president running our country. All those people cried on election night and went to work the next day with homemade shirts with his face all over them. We had hope that we finally had a chance in this country. Not much has changed as this situation shows. Racism is still running high, especially since Obama was elected. These racists are looking for any reason to say that he shouldn't have been elected in the first place. The situation with Gates would not happen if he was White. There is no way a prominent White scholar would have been led off in handcuffs in front of his own home. As usual when we started to make noise about the situation, he was released and all charges against him were dropped. So why was he arrested in the first place? Was it because he's Black? I don't know. The police will always say that they have justification for everything that they do. Something just doesn't seem right about the whole thing. I honestly don't think it will ever stop, at least not in my lifetime. Countries all over the world have been torn apart because of differences in the people within them. Why should this country be any different? Obviously it will continue as long as racist ideas are passed down from generation to generation.

Chicago Connections

I just got back from a trip to Chicago. I can't call it a vacation because it wasn't to me. There is so much to see in the city, but I have to spend my time sitting around. This time was a little different. I actually got a chance to get away for a little while. Things finally worked out for me to feel my pulse again. It's been almost ten years since I felt it; touched it. Eight years and not much has changed. There was not an awkward moment. Those minutes felt like hours and the memories will last until the next time. I couldn't be prouder of her than I am now and yes I take full credit for that. I don't want to forget to say what's up to those co-workers who might be reading over her shoulder. The pieces finally fell in place for us to have that long awaited reunion. I was in town for a family reunion anyway. I honestly didn't care about that, which is why I waited til the last minute to even register for it. I was only going if I could her, my pulse. Now what happens? I don't know. This is the type of situation that I was talking about in "The Chase." I am done forcing things to happen. I'm going to just let things happen naturally. I love her and I always will, but I can't offer much more than that. The time spent was great. I wouldn't trade it for the world. But timing is just as important in every relationship. Maybe our chance has passed. Maybe we're just getting started. I just can't put my finger on it. For that night, we were one. But in the end we both had to leave. Our lives are heading in two different directions. It's not a bad thing. We had our time and we could still have a life together. I was stressed out until I went to Chicago. I really needed to see her. But relationship-wise, we might still work. It's too early to call. For now, she should just get a tattoo that says, "dangerous" because that exactly what she is to me, but in a good way. I'm still chasing my "It" girl.

Awakening

In some point in our lives we all have an epiphany. For some it comes too soon, for others too late. When it happens it's hard to figure out what exactly to make of it. I can't say that I've had one recently but I need one now. I am running in place, but I keep coming close to having my epiphany about what to do with the rest of my life. People have been in my ear lately because they know I'm not happy and that I have talent for other things, mainly writing. I love it and I have things to say. I have this big idea about doing a movie about Marvin Gaye. The last entry that I wrote about the chase is something that I wanted to write a book about a long time ago. I just have so many ideas in my head that don't involve making sure a shelf is full or customer service. I don't care about that. It's my job, not my career. I have to give a shout out to a close friend of mine. He is taking the bull by the horns and I'm proud of him. He has inspired me to figure this thing out. I want fans of my work so I have to put it out there. I will have a surprise in store for my loyal readers. I want to think that it's an exclusive. Check my boy out here though. He majorly talented. If he wants to, he'll be on the big stage one day. http://virb.com/velvetkente

The Chase II

Ok...I appreciate the responses. So why so so many responses to this post as opposed to the eighty others? I don't know. Maybe I am the voice of the people because I think those who responded in some way feel the same way. It's amazing how many amazing people are lonely or alone at least. So then the question becomes are our standards too high...I don't think so. I don't ask for much. I just need mental stimulation. I am a very easy going person and I'll give almost anybody a chance (Shut up J.B.) Why should two people with an obvious attraction avoid each other because of one of two character flaws? Don't get it twisted; I'm not lonely. But the bachelor's life is boring. I should stop complaining because I know I can't have it both ways. So what happens when the chase ends? Am I destined to be with one woman for 40, 50 or even 60 years? Well the way it looks now, I'll be a bachelor for a minute. So we do our adult things and someone has to leave. That's not how it should be. Nobody should have to leave. We both should just roll over and go to sleep. Damn..that's kinda funny. Anyway, it's still a work in progress. And to those ladies who responded to The Chase, how do u know which side of the line you fell on concerning me? You all know me well enough to know that you can't figure me out that easily.

Steve McNair

It seems like quite a few celebrities have passed within the past couple weeks. Micheal Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, and Billy Mays have all passed on. Micheal Jackson drew the most attention but Steve McNair was the saddest. He was the only one who was killed. He was the youngest from this group at only 36 years old. It was a senseless murder. What I can't understand...well one thing that I can't understand is why people kill someone and then themselves. If someone wants to commit suicide why take anyone else? That person didn't want to die or they would have committed suicide also. I hear people saying that the reason is the fear of going to jail. If they have that fear then why kill someone? It doesn't make sense to me. Steve McNair should still be alive right now. What really irritates me is all these perfect people who try to make the issue McNair's infidelity. That doesn't even matter. There is no reason to bring him down like it's HIS FAULT that someone killed him. Who cares that he was having an affair? That still doesn't make it his fault. He was asleep on his couch. Nobody deserves to die that way. He was one of the few successful Black quarterbacks in a sport dominated by Blacks. I never knew him or met him so I don't have one of those stories about him. Today there is a memorial service being held for him. It's not getting anywhere near the attention as the king of pop, but it's still newsworthy. Steve McNair will be missed for more than football.

The Chase

Finding the right companion is very challenging. One minute you think you've found that person then the next you're at each other's throats. I think the chase can be the most interesting part of any relationship. But if you put in so much effort during the chase that you feel like you're being toyed with, it's no longer interesting. At that point it gets annoying. It's obvious when you're being chased, unless you're being naive about the situation. Right now I'm trying to decide if I want to chase someone in particular or just let it be. If the chase is worthless what's the point? We've already gone down this road before and now it's an even more difficult situation for a number of reasons. I don't know. Right now its been almost two months without any real contact. Normally interest would disappear but it hasn't. I see so much potential there for us that I'm not going to give up on it. I'm just like everybody else. I want to have a better half to share everything with. I look like a pimp or something to those looking from the outside in, but that's not me. My parents have been married longer than I've been alive. So don't believe the hype. Most of my peers have kids or basically a family. I'm getting older now. I want a family but it seems like it's on the back burner now. I have to find someone that I would want to have kids with first. I consider myself an intellectual so I need someone who can keep up with me and not just want to party and hang out all the time. I have so many more interests than that. I need to be stimulated mentally. I think that's one thing that I'm missing right now. I need someone I can have a good argument with every now and then. I have someone in mind and I think I will pursue it. What do I have to lose?

The News

I honestly don't watch the news even though I should. Every time you turn on the news, it will be bad news. From killings, to the economy, to the "war" and so on and so on. That's all the first ten minutes is filled with. And I'm only talking about the local news. I try to stay out of trouble and luckily trouble hasn't followed me. Recently the news hit very close to home though. It was definitely shocking. Where I work news spreads like wildfire. Before you know it, the story has stretched its wings to become something far from the truth. I try not to even think about what happened because I'm hoping its not true. It's unavoidable because everyone will ask you if you heard about it. The sad part about it is that this type of thing happens everyday somewhere. I hope for the best but does that make me wrong for thinking that way? An eye for an eye has always been the mantra. So it's hard to decipher my own feelings about the situation. There is a victim here. I don't know anymore. Things just seem to be falling apart. Everyday there is something that makes you just shake your head. Words are hard to find. I never thought I would know anybody in this situation. Now he's fighting for the rest of his life. It's devastating. I can't put myself in his shoes because it's a very unique situation. I do hope everything will work out in the end but it's completely out of my hands.

The King of Pop

Micheal Jackson passed. I can go in so many different directions with this one. I'll go where ever my fingers take me. I was born in 1982 so his solo career was just taking off when I was born. Everybody knows about the "Thriller" album and all the success he had with that. Then the problems started. I wasn't a big fan of his music but I understand his legacy in music. There are only a few people that I think you can put in the same category as him like Elvis and The Beatles. His music crossed color barriers and he helped so many people. But it amazes that people become so wrapped up in people that they cried when he passed. It's hard to really make that statement because we can't help how we feel about certain things. I'm really just speaking from my own point of view as usual. It was sad to me though, especially since he was about to try and come back out again. I know he's been trying to for the past few years but we never heard anything. His popularity dwindled when he started having his legal issues but he's still an icon. Honestly this shouldn't come as a surprise. He basically had no childhood. He had to try to capture that period when he was a grown man. All the plastic surgery that he had was going to catch up to him eventually. It's pretty ironic that all these years he tried successfully to change his skin tone but he ended possibly dying from something more commonly found among African Americans. As Khujo from the Goodie Mob said, "You can deny the lie, but you can't deny the truth." But I digress. I'll pay my respects like everyone else. Regardless of how I feel about him, he will be missed. He will always be the king of pop and most of the young performers owe their whole careers to him. There can only be one and that's Mike.

C.R.E.A.M.

For all those who don't know C.R.E.A.M. is an acronym for "Cash Rules Everything Around Me."(props to the wu-tang clan) The root of all evil is the reason we all hustle on these 9-5 jobs everyday. It's the reason people sell drugs. It's the reason people put on the ski mask. It's the reason people go back to school. Money is necessary to survive. It divides our country...world between the have's and have not's. It is believed that more money means more problems. But more money makes it easier to get out of those problems. People with money can get away with so much more than someone who bust their...for a day's pay. Recently there have been a couple instances where money got people off easier than normal. There is no way Dante Stallworth would still be out in the streets if his name wasn't Dante Stallworth. I mean...he killed somebody and he was drunk. How the hell is he not locked up? It doesn't make sense to me. He should be locked up but he's rich so all the victim's family wants is his money. Chris Brown just got off the hook also. So basically what we're saying is that a crime is a crime unless you're rich. Then we'll just treat you like a young child, who doesn't know any better. I feel strongly about drunk drivers. I put them in the same category as rapist and murderers. Yes, I'm against the death penalty but I think punishment has to be given. You shouldn't be able to kill somebody from behind the wheel and just get ten years probation. I don't want to hear that story about this person never being in trouble before. At some point, an adult has to be treated like an adult. If I do something wrong, I don't expect to be treated any differently because I haven't done anything before. Not something like murder or assault. A speeding ticket is not as big a deal as driving drunk. But money changes all that. It shouldn't. Fair is fair and wrong is wrong. We have to change the way we look at things. Celebrities are not super heroes. They make mistakes just like we do. So they should be punished fairly just like we are. Not unfairly like Micheal Vick...but that's another subject.

Fathers

For some strange reason I am typing this at 2 A.M. Anyway, I feel like I need to speak on something. Today is Father's Day. That title is easily misunderstood. A dad is not a father. A deadbeat dad is definitely not a father. I don't have any children, but I still don't understand how anyone can be a deadbeat dad. I understand that the parents may not get along, but that has nothing to do with the child. Child support shouldn't even be necessary. I would want to take care of my child. I wouldn't have it any other way. I'm not just beating up on the dads though. The mothers shouldn't keep him from seeing his kid. It's not right. I see too many single mothers out there. No matter where I go the story will be the same. It's sad because the child is the one who is hurt in the end. We take so much for granted now, myself included. I should be calling my parents everyday, but I don't. I look at the people I know who do and I wish I had type of a relationship with my family. I take the blame for that because even when I said I would do better I never do. It's because of them that I am where I am today. As men we are taught not to show our emotions. It's funny because I wear my heart on my sleeves. So logically it would seem like I could show how much I love people easier. Wrong. I think about those who don't even know who their father is and wonder why I can't go back to how things use to be with my dad. Maybe one day it will be. Honestly I long for that day. I hope it's not too late.

NBA Champs

So the NBA finals have finally ended. Finally. This is probably the first since I have been watching basketball that I have not watched a minute of the finals. I had no interest in watching once I saw who was going. I'm not a Kobe hater. I just don't like him for various reasons. His first strike with me was before he even played a game in the NBA. He was a kid fresh out of high school and he had the nerve to say that he wouldn't play for the then Charlotte Hornets, which has been my favorite team for like twenty years it seems. So I already didn't like him for that. That just shows his arrogance. He gets too much credit for what he does and doesn't do. I won't deny his talent, but to put him on the level of Jordan, Magic, Bird and Oscar is wrong. The NBA sucks as a whole now because it's so watered down. So this championship doesn't mean anything to me anyway. It's not like they beat a good team. The Magic is not a good team. How can you be considered good when you blow layups and can only survive by making three pointers? The league has become boring but because I have been watching and playing so long I can't stop. Now the draft is coming up. There won't be any stars from this group but there will be plenty of busts. I really wish they would raise the age limit so we can see who can really play. Playing one year these kids get the benefit of the doubt after one year. Two years of ordinary play would show that kids can't play. All in all, I'm still a fan. So there's always next year.

The Gospel

When I was younger, it seemed like I was in church every Sunday. Now it's nowhere near that much. I'm always at work. When I am off, I feel too tired to go to church. Part of me grew tired of the church scene because I just thought that the people there were hypocrites. I know I'm probably wrong for thinking like that but I can't help it. So many churches have become mega churches. You don't even know all the members of the church because it's the size of a large high school. I'm not sure going to church is necessary to have a relationship with God. Who doesn't have a Bible? Every one has to have their own personal relationship with Him because no one can answer for us in the end. I lost track of that. I don't think anywhere near the way that I did when I was younger. People wear crosses around their necks and think that's enough. It's hard to live on the straightened path. There are so many temptations out there. We all fall prey from time to time. Nobody is perfect. I'm amazed at the different ways that people show their appreciation to God. You have music, tattoos, books, movies, and so on. We all want to make it to Heaven. Some are working at it more than others. I try not to do anything too crazy but I stray too. I'm not perfect and never will I claim to be. I'm here trying to live a stress free life and stay out of trouble just like everybody else. So good luck to everybody. And God bless.

Anger

Marvin Gaye made a song called "Anger." It's a natural emotion that we all have. In my line of work, I deal with it on a daily basis. Yeah, I dealt with it today. Anger is going to show it's head all the time. What really matters is how it's dealt with. When I was younger I had a quick temper. Any little thing would set me off. It's not like I was an enraged child, but it didn't take much to have my bottom lip poking out. My mom always told me it would stay that way...and it probably has honestly. But it happens. Anger, if used correctly, can be a good thing. I do quite a few things better when I'm mad. You probably wouldn't want to see me on the basketball court when I'm mad. I'm like Jordan...well maybe not that good but you get the point. I get mad all the time, but it blows away quickly. I grew out of that a long time ago. Now I can take more than I would have back then. I think that has become a good and bad thing for me. It keeps me on an even keel, but there are times that I won't stand up for myself because of it. I feel like I've been pushed to my brink recently, but nothing ever comes of it. When I need to get some anger off my chest, I write. That's where the whole idea of my book came from. Anger is fascinating to me. Human behavior in general is interesting, but I have always enjoyed trying to figure out what sets someone off. As long as it's not directed towards me. Then I might get angry. I don't know what I would do if I get pushed to the point where I just fly off the deep end, but there are days when I feel it's coming. Hopefully that day will never truly come. Now let's see what time do I have to go to work tomorrow.............

Black Music Day?

Ok. So it's black music month. I sure haven't seen anything to suggest that it really is. Maybe it's time to just ditch the whole idea of black music month. And take black history month with it. I understand the significance of them both, but we're just wasting energy if nobody even knows about it. There are so many different ways to celebrate but not one is being used. I really feel sorry for those who came after me. They won't know what real hip-hop is. But they can crank dat lion king or whatever they're doing now. Our history is so important but we don't even talk about it. Before long all these things will be extinct. No more black histoy. Period. I think we take for granted how important those before us were to different movements. Musically nothing would exist without us. Credit is given and then forgotten. So is it worthless???

America's Nightmare

In one of my earlier posts, I spoke about where I'm from. While there is the inevitable negative atmosphere there, there is also the positive to talk about. Around ninth grade, I watched as many of my peers drop out of school for various reasons. By the time I graduated, it felt like my class was half the size it once was. But on the flip side of that, many of my classmates did go on to school and are doing well for themselves. As much as I criticize my people, I am proud of my culture and where I came from. I'm always happy to see people I went to school with become doctors or lawyers or managers and so on and so on. Blacks in jail is America's dream. That is unacceptable to me. I didn't need Affirmative Action or any other handouts to get where I'm at. I got here from my teachers, my parents, and myself. I can't forget those Sunday services. They always help. Nothing gets under my skin more than questioning my intelligence. During the civil rights era, they had to go through so much so we could even sit in a decent classroom. Of course we take that for granted now. But I think just the fact that so many are continuing their education is encouraging. There are so many talented kids out there dying to be heard, myself included. I'm starting to make become more comfortable with the idea of being in the spotlight (Raign...coming soon). So get ready world. We are America's Nightmare: Young, Black and Educated.

Used Cars

So now GM has done the inevitable and filed for bankruptcy.  It seems like Chrysler is not too far behind.  We all knew that the government wouldn't let these companies go belly up just like they couldn't let the banks fold.  But there has to be something different done this time around.  Taxpayers are paying for these huge companies being mismanaged.  Nobody came to bail out the mom and pop shops when Wal-Mart moved into small towns.  I understand that this had to happen.  Too many people had jobs with these companies.  Our country would be in far worse shape if they all went out of business.  It just couldn't happen.  Even still we all might be feeling the effects of this without even realizing it.  I have even been touched by it.  Today I went out and looked at a new vehicle.  I drive a Saturn now and I don't feel too good about the prospects of that company.  So I want to get something else.  And I will soon.  It's just a matter of time before these two companies come back strong.  But for right now, I think I'll stick with a more reliable company that I know will be around.  The economy has to turn around eventually.  Let's hope it's sooner rather than later.

SummerTime Blues

So here we are.  It's finally hot as hell outside.  That's the only thing I hate about summer.  Other than that it's a great season.  This is the time to take vacations and whatnot, especially if you have a family.  I don't have my own family so I can really take vacation whenever I feel like it, but the weather is always better in the summer.  Now that I'm out of school and working year round, summer is not that significant to me anymore.  I don't get that three month break between classes.  I wish I did, but honestly, I enjoy having my own money.  I can buy what I want and not have to ask for money.  I can't complain too much.  Yes work sucks, but I'm an adult now.  When I was younger, I just didn't like people looking over me because I was young.  There were instances when my youth was a deterrent.  I still deal with that now.  Older people look at me and think I don't know what I'm talking about.  It's funny to me because you don't ask questions unless you don't know the answer.  So why ask me a question that you don't know if you won't believe me anyway?  It doesn't make sense to me.  I think the people that know me know that my intelligence is important to me.  Nothing gets under my skin more than something thinking that I'm dumb.  But let me get back on topic here.  I don't enjoy summer as much as I once did but it's here so I might as well enjoy it.  Who knows.  Maybe I'll take a trip out east.

.....Continue

Growing up I thought I had everything figured out just like every other kid. I knew what my career was going to be, what school I was going to and when I would get married. The first two don't bother me so much that they haven't gone as planned. The last part does. So it's been about three weeks now. I don't know if opportunity has passed me by. So what is fate and what part does it play in all this? I don't get caught up in all that. I play everything by ear and let things happen naturally. But I have to admit its hard to not feel like I have to take action to improve my chances of getting what I THINK I want. It may be too late. Deep down I don't think it is. I never close windows of opportunity. Things change and I don't want to shut down my chances. So here I am again, getting older and wondering if I reacted too slowly. I can't predict the future so I had no idea what was coming. Once I realized it, I did try. Is it too little too late? I'm not satisfied with the current situation, but that may be out of my hands. What exactly am I supposed to do? I have ideas but even then what is the next step? So here I am wondering and listening to Dwele, Anthony Hamilton, Carl Thomas, Raheem Devaughn, Bilal, Eric Roberson, and so on and so on trying to find the right song to compliment my feelings. I don't have a problem saying what's on my mind. And the person that I'm speaking about knows this. If you're not sure that I'm talking about you, then I'm probably not talking about you. This is my shot in the dark. I'm not sure what my aim is, but I hope it's on target.

To....

 Well, there is a noticeable absence there.  I don't know exactly what I want at this time but maybe that was what I wanted.  It's funny how everything happened so quickly.  I don't know what came over me but I got more aggressive even though I knew there was no point.  So what is there to do now?  We wait.  I'm a very patient person mainly because I don't have time to worry about things out of my control.  It made for an interesting contrast in personality.  It will never work when two people want two different things or when the effort does not come from both ends.  I still think it could've worked and should've worked.  I can say that I want something beneficial yet challenging.  I had that.  It was fun, but it didn't get where it should have.  I'm not going anywhere though.  There is always a chance for something to happen unexpectedly.  I started the chase again and got probably as good a response as I could.  Honestly I do feel like chasing again...so is the chase on again???

New Money

Last week I saw that the automaker of the truck that I have will be sold or shut down.  I'm not surprised by that news, but I'm more surprised by my immediate reaction.  The first thing I did was pull out the old laptop(which I just recently bought) and started looking for a new ride.  What am I a rapper???  Since when could I just go out and buy a new vehicle.  I think I jumped the gun on that.  Do I really want a car note?  So I talk to my father he tells me that I was doing the right thing.  So where is all this money coming from that I have?  Hard work.  I worked hard to get where I'm at and I'm going to enjoy the pay off.  I'm in a position now where I can spend for needs AND wants.  No I'm not by any means rich, but I know how to manage my money.  Maybe a house will be next.  I don't know.  I'm just enjoying this new money.

Mothers' Day

There a plenty of holidays where businesses close down, state offices close, and school is out.  Everything stops on Christmas and righfully so.  But there are those holidays that I don't really celebrate when mostly everything is shut down.  I will never consider Thanksgiving a holiday because of what it truthfully represents, but that's another topic for another rant.  Mother's should be a universal holiday where everything shuts down.  I have had to work almost mother's day since I started working.  That means all I can do is call or send something through the mail.  If that's what I have to do then so be it.  I wish I had the time to do all that I want to or I should say what my mother wants.  But I digress.  It is mother's day and I should get off my soap box.  To all the mothers out there and my mother, happy mother's day and take the day off.  Let the children cook today.

Life Is What You Make It

So I rented The curious case of Benjamin Button today (which is a very good movie by the way).  As usual I took something from it.  I couldn't imagine having to go through what he went through.  I won't tell the story of the movie, but it puts some things in perspective.  I don't know how I would react if I had to watch all the people that I was attached to die.  Death is something that we all try to avoid, even though it is inevitable.  I can only speak for myself, but I do take life for granted.  I'm thankful every day that I'm alive, but there are days when I don't do anything with my life.  I should be having the time of my life with no worries.  I don't have any real worries, but I make the small problems that I do have big because I don't know any other way.  Of course I keep all this to myself so people who know me may never know what bothers me or when I'm bothered.  I have always and will continue to play my cards close to the vest.  I just wish I knew how to let loose and have fun.  I don't like being taken out of my comfort zone.  I have missed many opportunities because of this.  Living with regret is not a good thing to do.  Who knows...things could be so much different for me if I were fearless.  But I'm not nor will I ever be.  I take calculated risks.  To some I may be boring, but I'm comfortable in my own skin, even though I will be the first to critique myself.  Cheers to the good life.

Twitter???

As much as I'm on the computer, I know about most of the new things that come out.  You have myspace, facebook and so on and so on.  There is one that I can't get with and that's twitter.  I can't knock what people do and whoever came up with the idea is going to be rich.  But I just can't get with the idea of doing that.  Why would anybody want to know what I'm doing every second of the day.  It amazes me that people can get into it.  I really can't talk.  I'm just like everybody else.  I have all these accounts but I don't use them.  I can't tell you how many times I've deactivated my facebook account, only to come back to it.  All these things can be addictive.  Maybe if I tried Twitter, I would enjoy it.  Before long I probably will try it.  I hope I don't though.  Wait a minute...isn't blogging along those same lines?  Of course not...right?  I mean, it's not like I update this every second telling you what I'm doing.  This is in a different vein.  Anyway, it's crazy to check on somebody's website daily just to see what they're doing or thinking......right?

Micheal Vick, Blue Collar Worker

So Micheal Vick is getting out next month.  How the mighty have fallen.  His whole situation is pretty funny because he had everything.  Endorsements, money, fame, etc.  And he blew it.  Don't get it twisted.  He didn't deserve the amount of time he got.  I'm not even sure he should have served time.  Drunk drivers who kill somebody get less time than him in plea deals all the time.  So while the government was making an example of Vick, real criminals were getting off easy.  Dogfighting has been going on in the south for years.  Now all of a sudden it's a problem.  When he gets out he'll be working as a contractor for a construction company.  Can you imagine seeing Micheal Vick wearing a hard hat and earplugs?  Hilarious.  These athletes are put on a pedestal and forget that they are human beings too.  PETA will raise all kinds of hell for an animal being hurt, but won't blink when humans are being shot down everyday in the streets.  This whole thing is bigger than Micheal Vick himself.  There is an underlying problem in society when dogfighting gets more attention than the death penalty.  I think the death penalty is a bigger issue than how many dogs Micheal Vick killed.  Yes he committed a crime and had to pay for that, but this whole thing has been blown out of proportion.  Some people are even saying he shouldn't be given another chance to play football.  I totally disagree with that.  He should and will.  So let the man live.  He might be pretty good laying concrete.

I need my......

It's now the day after tax day.  I can't speak for anybody else but I always have this feeling that sometime after tax day, I'll get this letter from the IRS saying I owe more money.  They already take too much from our checks anyway.  Now news drops that there are signs the economy is coming out of the recession.  So what about this big bailout?  We still have to pay for all that.  I hate talking money because it goes away too fast.  Maybe I should just pull out the old ski mask and....I'm just playing.  I am not hurting for cash.  I'm thinking of new ways to spend my money.  Should I buy a house or should I show my true "color" and buy some twenty four inch rims before I pay my rent?  Let me stop.  I don't need anybody calling me a....anyway.  Whatever happens...I need my money so I'll hold off for a minute on my big spending.

And The Winner is......

I'm picking UNC tonight....I don't really have anything else to say.

The Search Continues

It seems like I get older everyday.  The only mail that I get now is bills.  My body aches when I wake up in the morning.  I have to shave more often now.  I knew these things would come eventually so I'm not surprised in the least.  One thing has alluded me that I'm a little surprised about.  When I was a youngster I always thought I would be married by now with a nice family and whatnot.  That hasn't happened yet and the prospects of it happening anytime soon don't look good.  The closest thing I have to that is a Goddaughter named after me.  I want more than that.  So I do test the waters a bit.  Does that make me a dog?  I don't see how if I am up front in saying that I don't want a serious relationship.  I can be picky but I can also be accepting.  But I'm still solo.  I don't know what I want...that's a lie.  I do but I don't believe it exist.  So I take what comes to me and occasionally chase myself.  Time is working against me but I'm not worried about that.  I know everything is already mapped out for me.  Whatever happens, happens.  I have to accept it.  Anyone who has read parts of my book can see my fascination with falling in love and also finding love.  I enjoy the chase more that I should.  Oh well.  Cheers to the single life..... 

The wackness

Every Tuesday I check my ITunes to see what new music came out.  So I'm looking through the listing and I find nothing worth listening to.  Of course there's always a boatload of new music dropping.  But it's rare that it's anything I want to listen to.  The last Cd that I bought was The Point of It All by Anthony Hamilton.  Yeah it's a great album, but I'm greedy.  I want to buy a new one every couple weeks or so.  I can't do that anymore.  I probably buy about ten at the most every year.  Back in the day I would buy that many in about three months.  And I didn't even have a job back then.  I don't want to be seen as a hater so I won't name anybody like bow wow or soulja boy or lil wayne or flo rida or anybody else that I think sucks.  Oh...I guess I just did.  My bad.  It seems like I'm always waiting on the next Anthony Hamilton, Outkast, Chrisette Michele or Nas album.  There are so many more people making good music that we don't hear much about.  You have to go find them.  So here's to another boring new Tuesday with no new music.  The wackness.  

March Madness

It's march madness time again.  Besides the super bowl, this has to be my favorite time of year.  Those that know me know that I'm a UNC fan.  For the second year in a row I picked them to win it all.  Coincidentally, Barak Obama, Lil Wayne and me all had the same final four, final two, and winner.  Of course some people had a problem with the president making picks, saying he should be more focused on the economy and what not.  If I remember correctly, he is a human being.  He was a basketball fan before he was the president.  Let him make his picks, especially since they were the same as mine.  I think it's good for him to have a human side and not be a machine like some past presidents.  We should give him time to do all that he has planned.  I don't really care that he made picks for the NCAA tournament.  There are plenty of other people who do the same every year.  It's a habit.  That's why the call it march madness.  Things get crazy around this time of year.  Let's just enjoy it.

I'm back at it

It's been a long time since I've posted anything.  I guess I've been so busy doing other things that I let this whole thing get away from me.  I'll try to stay on top of all this again, it's not like I have this huge following anyway.  So two people have noticed that I haven't been saying anything in a good while.  Who cares?  But enough of that.  I'm back to whom it may concern.  And I still have quite a bit to say.  So here we go again.