Shame

So there was another mass shooting.  It's crazy how often this has been happening recently.  I'll never be able to figure out how anybody can take a life, especially a child.  Hopefully the next person who feels this way will find a nice bridge to jump from.  I can only imagine what the parents are going though right now.  Call me lame but that's part of the reason why I don't show my face much.  It's not safe anymore.  I remember when I was a youngster we could walk around the neighborhood on Halloween.  That has changed because anybody can get a gun.  If everybody has a mask on, how do you tell who is friend or foe?  I don't know anymore.  People are losing it.  If it gets to the point where a person feels like they're going to kill, why not seek help?  Killing innocent victims and then killing yourself is a cowardly way out.  I think back to Jovon Belcher.  His teammates wanted to paint this picture of what type of person he was.  At the end of the day, he was only thinking of himself.  Now that child has to grow up without either parent because Jovon got mad.  It's laughable saying that.  Maybe he should have said, "Hulk smash!!!" and punched the wall.  I wish they wouldn't keep painting him like a hero.  He's not.  No killer is a hero.  This clown that shot up the school today knew that his life was over after everything he did.  It would have been to see him go to jail and see what a real killer is.  I'm sure he didn't want to see what would happen.  I'm not sure how I feel about this whole thing.  I think I'm more upset than sad.  It's not safe anywhere anymore.  Schools should be one of the safest places to be.  I say that but I remember seeing a gun brought to school in fifth grade.  There was an all out brought in high school.  I'm from a small town so I can only imagine what happens in larger cities.  Nowhere is sacred.  Churches have been losing air conditioners every summer.  That's as violent as it gets.  No air in this southern heat.  I don't know how we fix this problem.  I hate when this becomes a political issue instead of thinking about the kids.  They never even got the chance to experience life.  Everyday is a blessing, but it's becoming more dangerous to walk the streets everyday.  

Best MC: Atlanta

It's funny how quickly Atlanta showed up on the national scene in hip hop.  It seemed that for so long the only places that ever got mention were New York and L.A.  Then Southerplayalisticadillacmuzik came out.  I remember laughing at the video because it was so low budget.  I was on my East coast.  I was even talking like I was from New York.  That all changed after Outkast came out and kicked the door in for southern rappers.  It was amazing to see who they brought with them.  From what we saw, the world was completely different to southern rappers.  The music was more laid back and funkier.  I had never heard anything like that before.  I was listening to Nas, Wu-Tang Clan, Mobb Deep, Keith Murray, A Tribe Called Quest, etc. at the time.  That album came out in 1994.  It's funny how time flies.  Now I have my southern accent back.  A few years ago, a conversation was started about hip hop being dead.  Only southern rappers were offended by that because at the time they were running hip hop.  Honestly the majority of southern rappers aren't lyricists.  They mainly have a style that attracts fans.  I'm not saying that there are southern lyricists.  Mike Bigga, T.I. Cee-Lo...Goodie Mob, Bun B, Scarface, so on and so forth.  But in this argument, I have to split up my favorite group of all time.  Big Boi vs. Andre 3000.  Outkast.  The pimp and the poet.  I know Andre doesn't really rap anymore, but when he does it's amazing.  That's why I have to give this one to him.  He fluctuates between the second and third spot on my top five, dead or alive.  He will never fall lower than three (Nas will never fall from the top, of course).  What makes him awesome is his creativity.  You could tell he was the driving force behind the direction that Outkast started going in when you listen to their separate solo albums.  Big Boi doesn't push the envelope as much when he's by himself.  There have only been a few "wow" moments for me in hip hop.  One was when the video for "Hey ya" was premiered.  I remember being at home waiting impatiently for it to come on.  Back then, it was a big deal when a huge artist had a new album and video coming out.  Outkast was big, but that video put them on another level.  That also led to the only time that I have ever watched The Grammy's.  I was hoping that Oukast would win album of the year.  Of course it was the last category of the night.  When they won, it felt like I won I was so happy.  I, like everyone else, wants to hear more from Outkast.  I don't think that we've heard the best from them.  They still have something that the game needs right now.  It has grown stagnant.  I think that is the reason that Andre has drifted away.  He's bored.  He admitted it on "Mighty O".  After all these years, he is still my favorite MC from Atlanta.  Even though he has unofficially retired, he is still by far the best.  My thumbs are getting tired from constantly going around in circles, waiting.  What I want may never happen.  Until I hear otherwise, I'll keep waiting for Atlanta's best MC to show up.

Best MC: Detroit

Motown.  This city is so slept on, it's ridiculous.  Eminem is not the only dope MC from Detroit.  He may be the only one that has gotten much shine, but they are finally starting to get some of the credit they deserve.  Big Sean is in the limelight right now.  J. Dilla is starting to reach that legend status since his untimely death.  Slum Village has been around for a long time and they are very under appreciated.  Black Milk is a dope producer who is coming into his own as a lyricist.  Danny Brown is anything but ordinary, unlike his name.  For me though, this becomes a three way battle ultimately comes down to longevity vs. ability.  Eminem, Royce da 5'9", and Elzhi are the three dopest from Detroit, but in what order?  Eminem has the fame and the talent.  So does Royce.  And so does Elzhi.  This became such a hard decision because it's hard to argue with what Eminem has accomplished.  I respect what he has done and I will always give him props, but for me, he's number three.  I have to ignore his longevity for the purpose of this discussion because one of these men has a shocking placement in my hierarchy of MCs.  Royce is a cold MC.  I've always liked him, but he had some things that held him back as far as reaching the masses.  Now that he's back with Eminem, he has been putting out his best work ever.  Unfortunately it's not enough to surpass my favorite young gunner for the past few years.  Elzhi.  Look him up.  He's just better than them.  There is no other way to say it.  He hasn't been around as long, but he is just better.  And that's saying something.  Hip Hop is competitive and Detroit is very tight knit as far as working together.  So there have been opportunities to hear most of these MCs together.  To me, more often than not, Elzhi wins.  Royce and Em are the kings of one liners, but Elzhi puts together whole verses. Detroit MCs have an amazing ability to fit huge words in to tiny spaces, none better that Elzhi.  There's a reason why he's called the syllable scientist.  It's hard to explain my affinity for him.  He came from out of nowhere.  I remember him from Slum Village after J. Dilla left.  He stole the show on the songs, "Tainted" and "Selfish" which also introduced to John Legend.  Good job.  After that I checked him out and he continued to shine.  Then he showed up on "Hiding Place" with Little Brother.  "Don't compare to me to jokes..."  After he said that it was over with.  Even another of my favorites, Phonte, couldn't keep up.  He's really my hope for the future of Hip Hop.  He has no clue how important he will become because so many people haven't heard of him.  This is my chance to give him some much needed shine.  Listen to The Preface.  Almost every song is unique and sounds like nothing out now.  He has potential to change the game if given the chance.  Check him out.  The Motown sound has changed forever.

Best MC: Chicago

There is plenty of talent to consider in Chicago.  Chief Keef seems to be the new hot name now.  I won't waste any time talking about him though.  People continue to sleep on Kidz in the Hall, myself included.  But I will continue to get on to their music.  But to me this is a four horse race.  It boils down to Lupe Fiasco, Twista, Kanye West and Common.  Twista has been around a long time and it's always cool to listen to how fast he raps, but I don't have one of his CD's in my collection.  So that pretty much knocks him out of the running for me.  Lupe Fiasco is dope.  He's made some of my favorites songs that I keep as my ringtone on my phone.  He's one of those people that I hope will carry the torch from the true lyricists and won't let hip hop die.  Unfortunately he has The Machine behind him, which led to that garbage album that he was basically forced to put out for his so called third album.  I haven't lost faith in him, but I can't give him that title yet.  Maybe one day.  He's just not ready for that title yet.  I'm watching to see what his next move is.  So it all comes down to Kanye vs. Common.  Little brother vs. big brother.  Student vs. teacher.  You get the picture.  This decision is a bit harder than I thought it was going to be.  Before I started typing, I knew he I was going to pick.  Then I started to think more in depth about it.  It's not as simple as I first thought.  Sure Common has been doing it longer that Kanye, but does that automatically give him the victory?  If so, I have to go back and change my first entry to Rakim because he gave birth to Nas' style.  That's absolutely not going to happen so I'll continue with my explanation.  Kanye is a genius.  Some of the ideas and music that he comes up with are amazing.  He's easily one of the most versatile artists in the game right now.  Lyrically he's a bit underrated, because people seem to give him so much credit for his beats that they ignore his rhymes.  I've always liked his style and his wordplay.  But when I say MC, I'm talking about lyrics.  If I said artist, then I would have to go with Kanye.  But in this situation, I have to go with Common.  He's in my top 5, while Kanye is in my top 10.  Similar to Nas, Common's fans have seen him go through phases that were hard to stick with.  But he always brought it lyrically.  He's a versatile MC that can do anything in the booth.  His longevity helps him in this argument.  He won't be featured in guest appearances as much as Kanye, but he has more to say.  Kanye could very much pass Common in the very near future.  But as I type this, I declare Common the best MC in Chicago.  Can you figure out who Common's favorite MC is?

Best MC: New York

I'm a hip hop head.  So I figured I would do something different here.  I was listening to some music last night and I started to notice that different cities have different sounds.  With that, the mc's have different individual sounds.  So I decided to speak on my favorites from the major cities in hip hop.  Of course I have to start with the birthplace of hip hop.  New York has plenty of names that have to be put up for consideration.  Kool G. Rap, Rakim, KRS-1 and so many other old school mc's can be on the list, but I come a little bit after that era so my list will start with people who came after them.  There are still quite a few names that can be listed here from Jay-Z, Jadakiss, Ghostface, so forth and so on.  But my list begins and ends with Nas.  To me, Nas is the dopest mc ever.  From the moment I heard him, there was something different about him.  I was only about eleven so I really wasn't supposed to be listening to music like his.  I still remember my brother buying Illmatic and me and him sneaking around to listen to it.  That was the first true hip hop album that we bought.  That opened the floodgates.  The first song that I ever heard from him was "It ain't hard to tell."  He was a breath of fresh air from what was coming out at the time.  In a sense there was so much of what I would call clown rap or comedy rap.  Then Nas came and brought back lyricism.  Everything about him was fresh.  His voice, vocabulary, and storytelling were excellent.  You could close your eyes and see exactly what he was saying.  Illmatic is probably the best hip hop album ever.  After that the expectations were sky high for him.  There are some, including my brother, who have soured on him because of his beat selection.  I admit that some of his choices have been poor, but it doesn't take away from what he says on the songs.  He's far and away the best lyricist, even though he doesn't show his best quality of storytelling as much as he once did.  Every album he has ever put out has a moment of awe in it somewhere.  Even the ones that some see as subpar have one.  I think he can do whatever he wants to in that booth.  He has been mentioned by some of the best mc's as their favorite mc.  His influence can be heard in almost ever mc doing it now.  He will never get the credit he deserves because his albums no longer make any attempts at selling high numbers.  He is beyond that and I think that the infamous battle with Jay-Z awakened Nas.  Since then he has been on fire.  So for me Nas is the G.O.A.T.  

Why I Do This

I'm not sure how many times I have stopped updating my blog.  But I always come back to it.  It's not something that I've even told more than ten people about.  I went to school for management so  I know how to get my work out there.  I really don't have much interest in doing that.  This has become a huge reason for me keeping my insanity.  I say so many things here that I don't say out loud.  Well that's not totally true, because I'm rather opinionated.  Most people don't hear my opinions because they're too busy wasting my time telling me theirs.  There is this myth that I'm quiet.  It's not true.  I just don't think that people want to hear what I have to say all the time.  I keep thoughts in my head.  Maybe that's why I don't sleep much.  There is just too much going on there to keep everything straight.  This really all started back in college for me.  I had a professor tell me  that I could be a good writer if I focused.  From that point on, I started writing any chance I got.  I started writing somewhat of a journal because I didn't have anyone that I wanted to bounce my thoughts off of.  Eventually I started writing my book.  That turned out to be another one of those situations where it was off and on.  I had time to write, but I just didn't put the effort into it.  Once I got serious about it, I had to have some way to sharpen my skills.  So I started doing this.  I didn't care how many people read or how popular it became.  I just wanted to get my thoughts out there.  Some people might not agree with some things that I'm saying, but this is my space to say what I want.  So to put it plainly, this is my practice space.  I get to take risks here and it only helps me write better.  So that is why I do this.  I do this for selfish reasons.  But in the end, hopefully anyone who reads my work will reap the benefits.

Visit

I'm starting a campaign of my own.   My state is always neglected.  There aren't many concerts, no professional teams, no tourist attractions.  I'm among those that wish that would change.  His first four years in office, The President never visited this state.  I understand the reason why he didn't.  It was strictly political.  He knew there was no chance he would ever carry this state in the election, so why spend any time there?  But there are so many reasons to visit to visit.  The main reason is that it wouldn't hurt anything.  There are plenty of people who supported him here.  I saw plenty of shirts with his face on them, licenses plate with his name on them, and Obama Biden stickers in the back window of plenty of cars.  We have a history of segregation here with The Little Rock Nine.  He could make an event out of visiting the museum.  The fact that this is the home state of both of the Clintons that helped him out immensely in getting reelected.  Being the first African American President is such an inspirational thing, he should be showing his face everywhere.  There are so many people that look up to him.  The First Lady did come down here to promote active lifestyles for kids.  That's fine, but we want to see the President.  He's the one that matters most to us.  Just show your face, that's all we want.  So I need help.  Here's a link to reach to the President: http://www.whitehouse.gov/contact/submit-questions-and-comments 

The Sky is Falling

So the election came and went.  There was elation all over the world, and honestly I couldn't get that smile off my face when I got home from work to find out that President Obama had been reelected.  The flip side of that is that there were quite a few people who were furious about the results.  Some were idiots like Donald Trump.  Others were more respectful like Mitt Romney himself.  The phrase that I heard from some was that "the sky was falling."  It find it funny that there was this bleak picture painted by some of the richest people in the country.  They won't feel any effect from this election.  They will still be rich.  But I really don't want to get into that too much.  Truthfully I don't enjoy talking about politics.  Talking politics is the only thing that can make me dislike someone.  It becomes so personal.  So I won't go that route.  That negative attitude is so unnecessary right now though.  People are out here struggling and some act like things were supposed to change in four years.  They forget that it took eight years to dig that hole.  It's unrealistic to expect things to be fixed in four.  Never mind the collapse of the economy that happened when The President first got into office.  That stabilized, but people were so unwilling to work with him that he didn't really get anything else done.  I've always been cynical about the government, but voting is something that I have to do.  I hear my own father say the reason that he votes is because so many people died just for that right.  To make it even worse, the first black president won't even visit the state.  I'll touch on that at a later date.  I stayed up until 2A.M. waiting for him to make his victory speech.  We all had high hopes for him, realistic or not.  He was given a second chance to prove that he wasn't just empty promises four years ago.  He was fired up delivering his speech.  I hope realizes what's truly at stake here.  The sky isn't falling though.

The Story Continued

He kept his eyes on the clock on the wall.  It seemed like neither hand was moving.  No matter what he did to pass the time, it only seemed like to make things worse.  The hours slowly passed and finally his time was served.  It was Friday and he planned to enjoy his weekend.  He had to make it home first.  Out into the busy world he went.  His silent office building transformed into the hectic streets almost instantly.  Robotically, he ignored the bustle and continued down the street, sometimes breaking the law to get home.  And then home was in sight.  One more street to cross.  He stood waiting, unconsciously jumping double dutch as he watched for the light to change.  Finally the light changed.  As he strolled across the street, he glanced out into the street.  He was so happy that his job was actually within walking distance.  Not having to deal with that traffic was well worth it.  He swiftly walked up the stairs and within minutes he was home.  He slumped down on couch, exhausted by the long work week.  He looked into the kitchen and saw the sun squeaking through the blinds.  Sleep was beginning to creep in on him.  A familiar scent suddenly caught his attention.  He got up from the bed trying desperately to shake the cobwebs.  Then he ventured off into the bedroom.  The sheets on the bed were pulled back sloppily and a nightgown lay on top of the covers.  The room was in the same condition as she left it in.  Flowers were placed  all around the room.  Time seemed to stop while he was in that room.  The moment became too intense for him.  He backed away and closed the door.  It was still too hard for him to accept the fact that she was gone.

Past That

Sometimes I think about all the people that I came up with.  I've lost contact with so many of them.  Basically you can say that I have lost contact with all of them.  I'm not sure how I feel about that.  We've all gone in different directions and it would be nice to stay in contact, but I don't really worry about it.  I think that I have moved on, by choice or not.  It doesn't really bother me anymore.  It did.  I was completely out of the loop on everything.  I still am.  I'm OK with that now.  I haven't been home in years and I don't have much desire to.  I've closed that chapter of my life.  It's not one of those things where it made me the person that I am today or anything.  It's pretty much like college for me.  I went through it and nothing came of it.  I met plenty of people but if they didn't want to be around, they didn't stay.  If I didn't want them around, I left them behind.  There are people that I wish things had gone different with.  That's just natural.  Those people will more than likely find their way back around.  When that time comes, it will be like nothing ever changed.  Life continues whether we want it to or not.  I'm just here to make the best of it all. 

Like

I know I've already addressed this issue before, but I feel like I have to do it again.  I am not a robot.  I don't follow trends blindly because the man does it.  I have my own mind and I don't mind when someone disagrees with me.  Some people take it personal.  It's funny to hear people defend someone who has no clue who they are.  More power to you.  I've had to defend my likes since I was in junior high.  I'm accustomed to it now.  There was no like button back then.  I would always stand up for what I believed in regardless.  I don't care if we have the same likes.  Honestly I don't care what anyone likes.  It doesn't bother me or matter to me.  Only time that I care is if your like effect me.  Then I have an issue.  Other than that, who really cares?  I'm sure there are people who don't like me personally.  I could care less.  Nobody has to deal with me.  I'm easily avoidable and I welcome that sometimes.  It's nice being left alone.  So just to reiterate my point, I don't listen to 2 Chainz, I'm not a Dallas Cowboys fan, and I will buy an I-Phone.  If anyone has a problem with that, it's there problem.  I'm sure nobody associated with anything I just mentioned cares how I feel.  There are plenty of people who feel the opposite of what I feel.  To each it's own.  I'm too old to see there and make a big deal about this.  Like who you like and I will do the same.  Be sure to click on the like button.

The Story

The sun was unforgiving.  The streets were buzzing with people as the temperature grew. He walked quickly through the crosswalk in an entirely too dark suit.  He consciously despised his decision to wear it, but he had to keep his cool, literally.  His journey continued, block after block and light after light.  His forehead glistened with sweat as the minutes passed.  He was just stepping to the song in his head when something caught his eye.  She wasn't paying him any attention though.  She was always turning heads, especially when she strutted in her heels.  This happened to be one of those common occurrences.  He did an immediate u-turn and began to trail her.  Even though it was early, it had already been a long day for her.  Fortunately her day was over.  She was going to collapse in her bath tub with a glass of wine and John Coltrane.  Thankfully her building was just around the corner.  She couldn't get in her apartment fast enough.  He was continuing his chase through the human traffic that was only getting heavier.  The closer he got, the faster she moved.  Surprisingly he had no idea what he was doing.  he couldn't explain why he was following her, but his feet wouldn't stop moving.  Nearly bumping into people, he twisted and contorted his body to avoid losing her.  Then the light changed.  He was stuck.  Really, he only had a decision to make; lose her or chase her.  He decided to chase.  He impatiently watched the cars fly by like a child playing double dutch, counting the seconds in his head.  Then his opportunity came.  He was off.  Safely, he crossed the street.  But where was she?  He wasn't sure, but he kept walking.  She could feel something different, but she didn't know what it was.  She shrugged off her feelings because she wanted to be at home.  Her place was in sight now.  She started up the stairs to her apartment.  Luckily he saw her walking up those stairs.  He unloosened his tie as he started to walk faster and faster, almost jogging.  She had to slow down because of those heels that she loved so much.  That in turn was his saving grace.  He reached the door to find her checking her mail.  He slowed down to wipe his forehead.  She was in plain view now.  She switched keys and opened the door to her place.  A blast of cool air welcomed her home.  The door was cracked the slightest and he saw his opening again.  How bold would it be to just walk through the door?  He wanted to find out so he slowly pushed the door open.  She turned around and saw him standing there in the doorway.  Slowly a devilish smile formed across her face.  She walked towards him as he closed the door.  His face grew serious the closer she got.  She grabbed the tie around his neck and pulled him closer.  He took in a deep breath.  She kissed him squarely on the lips.  Before he knew it he had his hands around her waist and was pulling her closer to him.  She closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around his neck.  She used what little weight she had to push him against the door.  He spent too much energy chasing her so he didn't even fight.  She opened her eyes as she pulled back.  He had a look in his eyes like he could just eat her alive.  She flashed that devilish smile again as she walked away.  He watched intently as she disappeared into the back room.  He could hear the sound of water running.  Then he completely broke character as he laughed to himself.  Then he turned around and opened the door.  Once on the other side, he dug in his pocket, pulled out his keys, and locked the door.  He took off his tie and put it in his pocket.  Then he unbuttoned his collar.  There was no way he going to wear that tie today.  Then he started his journey again.  The sun was unforgiving.  

Unfair

I haven't been on here in so long.  I actually forgot how to even sign in.  Anyway, so much has happened since I last posted anything.  Not much has been good either.  I'm happy to be alive, but it has been a struggle for me personally for the past year or two.  I could see when things started going downhill.  It was too late by the time I reacted to it.  No matter what my situation is, there is always someone who has it worse.  I think about my friend from high school.  I couldn't imagine being in that situation.  It feels unfair.  But it's not my place to question what happens in life.  My role is to be there.  Even that is difficult at times because we are naturally selfish.  My empathy can never reach the level that it needs to in order to do any good here.  There are so many things that I wish didn't happen the way that they did, but I can't change anything.  We all have to play the hand we're dealt.  Who decides what is fair or unfair?  It's not my place.  Some people don't deserve their fate while others do.  It's the life that we live.  Life is not fair, but we should cherish it.  All it takes is one eye opening event to change how you see things.  I'm not sure I've had that event yet, but I've had the precursor.  I dread when that event comes because it will probably throw me off balance, but I will be better for it.  Honestly I'm not looking forward to that event.  But I know it's coming so I just keep it moving.  So people take my nonchalant attitude as me not caring about anything.  That's not true.  I've just learned to not take everything so serious.  I lose enough sleep as it is.  I don't let anything else get me to that level.  I'm in a place now where I want to just be happy.  There are so many things that I want, just like everyone else.  I want the house, the car, the family, the fortune.  I just have to work harder to get it.  I turn thirty in a little over two months.  Believe it or not, my arrow is pointing up.  There are clearly some issues to deal with, but I can handle them.  I've tried my best to help anyone who asked me for help.  Now I'm the one needing help.  Fair right?

King Me

It's funny how people try to quote Dr. King on the third Monday of January every year.  It's usually the same people who have a violent moment every month or never have a deep thought.  Hilarious.  It's cool though.  I'm not knocking anybody.  I just find it all funny.  The only day out of the whole year that there are any quotes from him are on his observed birthday, not his actual birthday.  It's just something to think about.  I know I can't be the only one who notices this.  I won't quote him and I never do.  It's been almost forty four years since his death and people are still trying to dig up dirt about his personal life.  I really don't care about people's personal lives.  As long as they are not bothering me, why should I care?  He was human just like all of us.  I never him because he did so much.  But back to making fun of people.  How do you quote Dr. King and then turn around and watch Love and Basketball or Maury?  Seriously?

The Incredible Hulk

I want to take a minute to give some light to somebody that I respect more and more when I hear him speak.  I'm a hip hopper.  I have been for years.  People that are just getting to know me soon find out that I'm a thoughtful person who would rather fade to the shadows and let somebody else speak for me.  I'm from the south as is David Banner.  Not the David Banner from the comics, but the rapper David Banner.  I'm going to let him speak now.  Respect his intelligence and his opinions, even if you don't agree with him.  At least he is not a robot following what everybody else is doing.  Jackson, Mississippi's finest. 

Evolver

It's 2012.  I'll be thirty at the end of the year.  Wait.  I had to pause for a minute.  That was very depressing to type that.  Anyway, things become stale after a while.  Vacations only gloss over the fact that we have to go back to the life that we tried to leave behind.  It's always hard for me accept that I'm not where I want to be.  I say that, but I don't know where I want to be.  I've spent my adult life going back and forth on where and what I wanted to do.  From Columbus to Montgomery to Charlotte to Tulsa to Oklahoma City to Richmond and back to Little Rock.  The funny part is that I never left.  I'm still here, by choice.  I'm by no means a failure, but how many entries have I written about my frustrations with what I'm doing?  It's probably time for me to step out of my comfort zone.   One thing that I'm going to try to change is neglecting my biggest supporters, my family.  The majority of my family doesn't even know that I do this or that I have written a book.  All they know is that I'm alive and well.  That is mostly my fault.  I took being a private person to the extreme.  I'm going to be a more aggressive person.  The Chase will continue and hopefully finish.  I plan on finishing my second book this year.  Keep your fingers crossed.  We'll see.  I'm not one for making resolutions.  I'm just going to put forth my best effort to change.  This is a big year and possibly the last year.  Might as well go out with a bang.