Unspoken

Some things don't need to be said.  Body language can be read just as clearly as verbal language.  Only speaking for myself, it can be difficult to truly express my feelings as I have been trained to show as little emotion as possible.  I was always taught that you never want people to know what you're thinking and I still live by that.  When I was coming up, actions were much more important that words.  We didn't walk around like The Huxtables, but we had our own unique way of showing love.  Of course as a child, those things aren't noticeable.  I was a kid, which meant I was selfish.  I never thought about the reason we were always moving.  I just hated moving.  I took for granted coming home to a full meal every day because that's all I knew. And who would have thought that my brother actually came and took my bike back home after I fell off of it when the brakes failed.  I was riding alone and he actually came to check on me.  Only a few know that story because it's not as entertaining as the stories of us fighting everyday, putting holes in walls, and generally not getting along when we were younger.  That's love.  It doesn't always have to be said.  I'm not great at communicating because I don't want to bother people.  It's funny since my parents are total opposites of that.  Growing up, everybody just went through them to ask about me.  So when I went out on my own, I didn't have that same sense of communication.  That's one thing that bothers me to this day.  I wish I was better it communicating, but I'm not.  I stay to myself.  When I graduated high school, I disappeared.  A few people have seen me, but not many.  That's one of my biggest regrets.  I know that I've missed so much.  At this point, it's who I am.  I'm 36 now, an old dog.  Hopefully I can show love through my actions.  Only time will tell.