Selling Out

Lately I've been getting some flack for being anti-Tyler Perry. So I figured I'd throw more salt in the wound. Before I go much further though, let me say that I do respect Tyler Perry to a certain extent. He's giving Black actors and actresses jobs. That's about where my respect for him stops. I don't know his personal background, even though his defenders will try to tell me about it. I honestly don't care about that. I'm talking solely about his work. His work, to me, lacks creativity. There's no soul in his work. He found a formula that works and he has stuck with it. It just happens that his work is sort of a throwback to the days when we didn't have a choice in what we acted in. For instance, why would he have a lead character dress crazily and mispronounce words like it's 1924? It's embarrassing. Does he need to dress up like a woman in order to be funny (Martin Lawrence)? Why is everything he does titled "Tyler Perry presents"? It's blatant arrogance that's he's not talented enough to have. He's a conglomerate now. He can take risks now because he has a loyal fan base. Yet he still chooses to make "Madea goes to Work." I want my cut for giving him that title. Maybe he's already made that movie. Oh well. Anyway, is it fair to say he's selling out? I don't know. I'm not judge and jury on that one. I'm just saying that I wouldn't do what he's doing and I don't respect his work. If that makes him a sellout, then so be it. What surprises me is that we still support him. I can't get with what he's selling. I'm not saying to boycott him, just look for something different. The most powerful man in the world is Black. We can be so much more than bumbling idiots. And how dumb does he look in that picture?

Holiday Season

The holiday season is one of my favorite times of the year. Being in the south, the weather is usually pretty nice as I don't ever remember having a white Christmas. I'm at the age now where I don't care if I get any gifts or not because I can buy whatever I want. So it would seem like everything is good. One drawback to it is that I don't have a family of my own so I always have to travel on Christmas. That wouldn't even be that big of a deal if I wasn't in retail. Usually I'm right back at work the next day and usually early. This year just worked out to where I was actually off the day after Christmas. It would be nice to be able to take vacation after Christmas, but I'm more worried about putting myself behind if I did do that. The drive is not long, but I hate making it. People drive crazy and "They" are always out. I'm glad they're out there, but I always have to worry about them bothering me because that's what they do sometimes. It gets scary on the highway sometimes because people fly like there is no speed limit around curves, hills and all. I'd much rather stay at home for the holidays, but I have to eat. And honestly, I love spending time with my family. We have always exchanged gifts and we always will. It amazes me when I hear people say that they just give money. I will never do that and I don't want anyone to give me money. Where's the fun in that? I like going out (early of course) and shopping for gifts, without a list. We did that when I was young and that's all I know. Yeah I got that in the picture....and it goes hard.

Failure to Launch

Someone asked me at work the other day, "Why are you here?" I was thrown off at first, but I'd be lying if I said that I hadn't heard that question before. So why am I still at (Insert retailer here)? It's hard to answer that question honestly. I still have bills to pay. Do I love what I do? No. It's hard to love something that is not your passion. Writing is a passion of mine. It's so risky to make a career out of it. I've heard that I have enough talent to make a career out of it, but what happens if I don't? I'm back at square one looking for a way to make ends meet. Maybe the time will come when I push myself to do what I should be doing. I really want to be more than what I am now. My time will come. I just need that extra push.

BcS

Last weekend was crazy in the landscape of college football. So many ranked teams lost, some losing pretty badly. From one of my earlier entries it's pretty obvious why I don't like Boise St. I was happy to see that they weren't ranked number one. Honestly, Auburn should be ranked number one. They have beaten better teams than Oklahoma and Oregon. Oregon hasn't beaten anybody really. If Auburn beats LSU they will be hard to ignore. I wish my Alma mater was good so that I could wear a shirt every weekend. Anyway, I still think that the preseason rankings should be taken away. Wait until after week 3. Most teams have played somebody by then unless they're dodging teams like...TCU. You have to love it though. Playoffs would solve all these arguments, but then we wouldn't have anything to argue about right. It's just like asking someone who the best rapper in the world is. Amazingly there are some people who say Lil Wayne. Immediately my first reaction is to react, but then I realize that everyone is entitled to their opinions. Elzhi is cold as hell, but just like Oregon, nobody sees or hears him, so he is automatically underrated. Strangely from that, a team can be overrated very easily, like Boise St. They went so many years of nobody talking about them that when the public had no choice but to pay attention, they put on a show. The rap equivalent is Common to me. Unlike Boise though, I love Common. But he came from the underground and now we see him all the time. Nobody ever says he's the best though. Confusing? I'm confusing myself. What I'm basically trying to say is that the BCS is BS. So who do I think is the best team in the country? Isn't it obvious???

Questionable

I don't like being put in a spot where I have to go to anybody for advice. It's just an uncomfortable situation for me. I'd much rather work it out for myself. I don't necessarily need advice on this situation, but I figured I would throw it out there since I have pretty much a female following. First off this is a fictional situation spurred by curiosity. I'm just wondering what sets a woman off? I know, "Don't compare me to any other woman!!!" I can hear that already. I'm just trying to figure it out because I'm clueless. Does "No" do it? I say that quite a bit and the result isn't always pretty. There doesn't even seem to be a level of commitment needed for that reaction anymore. Females who are only considered close friends act the same way. And it's not just me. So what's really going on? I'm lost. The seasons are changing. Maybe that has something to do with it. I got people I use to talk to all the time, cutting me off for no apparent reason. I will try to figure it out myself. But I will accept help on this one.

Hunger

Shout out to Eric Roberson. He has a song called "The Hunger" on his latest Cd. So what is the hunger? The hunger can be many different things. It's hard to tell when the hunger will occur. My hunger has returned. I let myself get complacent. I'm hungry for more. I do have more motivation now than ever before. Sometimes it takes something being more important than anything you have ever come across to awake your senses. Finally this has happened to me. For years I wondered if there was anything I would sacrifice my own well being for. Of course there are things that I probably would but I think I've finally found that one thing that I have no question about.

Katrina

Katrina. That name will be infamous in U.S. history forever. Five years ago today she made landfall in the Gulf Coast. I had just graduated college days earlier and was contemplating my next move. We all knew it was coming but had no idea how bad it would be. I have family in New Orleans, traveled to New Orleans, and went to school only hours from New Orleans. Three months later I spent my Thanksgiving in New Orleans helping family clean up. It was amazing to see the devastation. Words can't describe what I saw down there. But I didn't have to be down there when it hit. I can't imagine what they had to go through. I know a couple people who were down there and can't even talk about it without getting emotional. I remember watching the coverage on the news everyday wondering why nothing was being done about that area. Why was it taking so long for help to get there? People were dying everyday, yet it didn't seem like the government cared or knew how to help. They knew she was coming. The government could've had help waiting down there ready well ahead of Katrina's arrival. The whole situation was unreal. I never thought anything like that could happen here. Now here we are five years later and it seems like it's been forgotten. How does that happen? A major city was almost wiped off the map. FEMA trailers are still in Arkansas, unused. The population hasn't returned to the Gulf Coast. Lives were lost and changed forever. Broken promises will be made again now that it's the anniversary. Let's hope that this administration doesn't put this on the back burner like the previous administration. Forgive me if I don't get my hopes up.

Itching

It's almost September which means football is right around the corner. I have always hated preseason football. Everything about it was just overdone. Regardless of what the experts say, every fan has hope in the preseason. Nobody can predict what will happen once the real games start. The preseason polls in college football always mess up the season because some team will be put in the top ten that never belongs there and just rides an easy schedule to the national championship game (Oklahoma? Boise State? Ohio St?) This year the hog fans have high hopes. We'll see. I think they're in for a let down, but it will still be a good season for them. I'm not a razorback fan. I honestly don't have a college team, not even my Alma mater. Anyway, pro is a different story. My team won the Super Bowl in 2002, but hasn't been close since. We'll be better than the experts predict. Fantasy football is huge now. Concerts are held before the first game. Football is king and not just in the south. I'm just ready for the season to start. I'm tired of talking about it. I'm ready to see what's going to happen. I'll make my first bold predictions. My super bowl picks are Baltimore and Green Bay and Reggie Bush will have a big year, MVP-like. Now the fun starts.

Passing Strange

I've been a Spike Lee fan for many years. My favorite film of his has always been Mo Better Blues. From old to new, his films have always been easy to support for me because of his creativity (check out She Hate Me). It's hard finding a Black movie director that's actually putting out good work. Yes, I am anti-Tyler Perry. Recently I ran across another film of his. This time I had never heard of it. But I still checked it out. Well at least I started. Netflix is a good service, by the way. Anyway, I started the film expecting an actual movie. So when a play started, I was unsure of how to react and I turned it off. At the time I didn't really want to watch a play. I don't know what it is but my brother has an eye for seeing greatness that I'm blind to. I thought Outkast was a joke when they first came out and The Godfather is a classic and my favorite movie. So he started pitching these lines from the movie and honestly was annoying me. I didn't know what he was talking about until I came home to see him watching Passing Strange. Of course I missed half the movie, but I was hooked. I went back and watched it all the way through and fell in love. It's funny though. Spike really didn't have anything to do with it. The play was just recorded by Lee. I can't really explain it. The play is just amazing. Look it up. Give it a chance. Now it feels strange that I almost passed on it.

Sad Anniversary

Today is a very memorable day for me. Five years ago today, I graduated from college. It's funny how times flies whether you're having fun or not. When I got out I told myself, and others, that I wasn't going back to school. Ever. So far I have been able to hold out on going back. But I have given serious thought into going back. It never gets past the preliminary stages, but at least I have thought about it. Right now I'm stuck in neutral in a job with very little chance to advance. So what do I do? I'm at the point where I'm still young enough to take a risk. I'm feeling like I have to in order to be happy. I live day to day with not much of anything resembling a plan for the future, besides putting money away. Five years from now I don't know what I'll be doing. Hopefully I'll be in another city AND state. Change is good. I need it.

The Return

The Hiatus is over. It's been a long time coming, but it was necessary. Airtight's Revenge comes out September 14Th. You didn't think I was talking about myself, did you?

Hiatus

It's been a while since I've had anything to say. There's been so much going on. Most of it I can't speak on yet though. I wish I had more to say, but I don't. When things change, no doubt I'll be back. But for now, I'm just a shadow.......

Does It Even Matter?

Every time I turn on the television, there is a commercial for one of the congressional candidates. Sometimes they come on back to back, bashing each other. Call it what it is but I don't really care about politics. I don't know when the elections are nor am I in any hurry to find out when they are. I don't trust politicians and I never will. I'm proud of Barack Obama, but I know that he can only do so much. And even then, I might not agree with everything that he says. So why all this media craze? Obviously elections hold weight, but I just don't care anymore. Yes I will vote, but I won't know anything about who I'm voting for. So what? My attitude towards voting is that I'm only doing because I feel like I have to. Too many people died for me to just be able to do so. I'm not from the school of thinking that my vote doesn't count. I'm from the school of distrusting politicians. In the end we all want the same things, but we have different ideas about how to get there. I know what happens affects me, but it's not life or death. A few years back there was an ad campaign that said, "Vote or Die." Well...I didn't vote in that election, pretty much out of spite because I hated that campaign that much. I couldn't believe the audacity they had to even say that. Since I'm writing this right now I'm going to assume that I didn't die because I didn't vote. Nobody came knocking on my door either threatening to kill me for not voting. Maybe I'm blowing this out of proportion, but maybe I'm not. So I guess I need to find out when the polls open so I can......whatever.

The Chase IV

So here I am again, talking about the chase. Maybe I should turn this topic into something much more in depth...like a book or something. Anyway, I'm at that uncomfortable spot where I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't have a boatload of prerequisites, but I want so much. I'm honestly ready to settle down, but not ready to settle. But the flip side of that is that I don't want someone who feels like they have to settle for me. So much goes into deciding if you want to spend your life with someone. I want to come home to someone who I know will ask me how my day went and so forth. When I was just in high school, a close friend of mine told me that where she was from, I would be seen as a king. Recently I've been told by a couple people that I am the total package. That boosts my ego, but at the same time humbles me. I know what they're saying, but I also know that I should be doing so much more. I don't see myself as the total package, but I still occasionally get chased. I have to admit; the chase can be more entertaining than the catch. I'm ready to move and I'm ready to chase. Maybe I need to take another trip to Georgia. Or maybe I should go to Texas. Chicago is always an option. Little Rock can be considered a vacation for me. I don't really know what I want anymore. I need a change of scenery. I should start a new chase; chasing my dreams.

Glass Ceiling

In the profession that I'm in, I'm seen as a youngster. I'm almost thirty years old. To me I feel like I'm getting to the point where I shouldn't be considered a youngster. It's frustrating having to sit by and watch as you get passed over for things that you know you are qualified for because of your age. Whatever. As time passes, I'll be an old man and still in the same spot. It's not how I pictured this all going. My path has to have other destinations. This is not what I want to be doing forty years from now. Right now I'm at a crossroads in my career. There are other interests that I have, but I'm not sure I want a career in that field. Honestly I like my job, but retail is rough. Your body falls apart, the hours suck, and there's too much turnover. I know I can move up, but the question is do I want to. Intelligence is subjective. In this case, I know I have more intelligence that some people above me. And I know that I can do a better job than they do. But because I refuse to kiss up or hang out with decision makers I may not get there. I don't think I should have to do anything like that. It's the way of the world. I knew it would be like this, but I was naive. This is something that I have to deal with. Until I figure out what to do, I'll keep writing. At least I have gotten positive feedback on that.

NBA...Where Boring Happens...

So the NBA playoffs started Saturday. At one point I was a huge NBA fan and I still follow it now. But I just can't watch it like I did. It's boring as hell. These guys can't play anymore. They can't do the basics. When I was younger, me and my brother would practice in the backyard for hours on things that we would use in game situations. I practiced free throws, shooting, dribbling, and even trick shots like reverse layups for hours. I worked on what I wasn't good at. It sounds so simple, but obviously some of those players getting paid to play don't take that to heart. I remember when we moved to my hometown, I was in seventh grade. I could already do a finger roll and amazed them. I couldn't believe that there were only a few others in my class who could do that. I practiced. They didn't. Blame And 1. Maybe I'm just bitter because my teams sucks this year. I don't think that's what it is though. If they had made the playoffs, I'm pretty sure I would only watch the games that they're playing in. Don't get me wrong, there are still plenty of guys who can play. The game play is boring though. That's why I love watching the Suns play. They get up and down the court. They figured out a way around not having a team loaded with Hall of Famers like the Lakers and Celtics from the eighties. I will eventually watch some games. Hopefully they will be interesting. Shout out to Chris Paul.

Death and Taxes

So it's tax season again (Happy Birthday Sis) and we all have to do the same thing. We wait for the money that we put into the system to come back to us, some more than others. I don't even worry about how much I'm getting back because I know it won't be anywhere near the amount that I put into the system. I have accepted that. I just wish that I saw more progress from it all. I understand that we all have to pay our taxes. It's one of the only things guaranteed in life, besides death. This is the life we live. We pay all these taxes while we drive over potholes. The gas prices go up everyday...there is no punchline there. CEO's of these huge companies continue to get millions in bonuses while the people who make those companies go don't see the benefits of their hard work. I've been experiencing that for the past two months. It's hard when you're being driven in the ground day after day physically and mentally. My bonus isn't worth the stress that comes along with it. The bags under my eyes grow every day and my body is falling apart. But I keep pushing because this is the path that I've chosen. My management style is different from some others, but everyone wants to work for me. Funny how that works out. All the overtime I've been getting will be gone anyway, from taxes. So why am I working the extra hours? Money has never been my motivation. Doing my job has always been my motivation. I don't care about my bonuses. I just want to make sure I do my job well. I'm getting off on another tangent here. I've done my own taxes for the past four years and it's becoming a hated task. If only I was rich. I wouldn't have to pay taxes at all......or at least not as much.

The Real

It seems like everybody has an opinion about everything. I have to include myself in that category of course. From blogs to Facebook to Twitter to Myspace, everyone has something to say. What's funny is that the people who read everything that you say KNOW you. They know what you're really like. It cracks me up when I see people as shallow as a bucket try to be deep. It's like they have an alter ego when they sit behind a computer. But some of the basics are left out. Spell check is there for a reason. Punctuation can determine has something is read. It's not always good to speak in slang when you're trying to sound intelligent. I hope no one with a guilty conscience reads this and try to scream at me. I'm observant and just speaking on what I see. I'm not saying I'm perfect. I do forget to hit the spell check button. And sometimes I leave words out because I'm thinking faster than I can type. But some of the things I see are ridiculous. Simple words are misspelled and so on. This is beginning to turn into an indictment of the education system, but I've already done that before so I'll just stick to the topic at hand. Be careful what you put out there. You never know who is reading what you have to say.

Missing out

In my twenty seven years, I've come across many people. We moved around so much when I was younger. I didn't know how to keep in touch with anybody at that age. There are plenty of people that I wish I had kept in touch with, but it didn't happen. Once I got older, I got better at it. But I still lose touch with people from time to time. In this information age, it's hard to completely disappear. There are so many ways to find people. Facebook has been my go to tool for that. My friend in Chicago is one that comes to mind. We went years with no contact because of something that was pretty petty honestly. Yes we reconnected but was it too late? I never second guess the path that I follow, but I do think about it from time to time. Regardless we won't make the same mistake again and I still expect an invite, even though we both know that there is no way I'm coming. I wouldn't dare put you in that position. There are others that I have gotten back in contact with, but there is one that really bugs me that I haven't found. I feel like I'm missing out. I'm not married and I don't have any kids. I'm getting older now. I have one Goddaughter. That's it. My nephews are basically non existent. So I have nothing. And anybody who knows me knows how much I want a daughter. I've explored every avenue. Nothing else I can do. It's frustrating because I can't do anything about it. Maybe something will change one day. But truthfully, I don't think it will. I just have to accept that.

Victory

It's about time. Maybe now at least he will get a chance to show how he can really lead. No need to hang his head.

Ignorance

It's the information age. So basically everyone with a pulse has a platform to speak their mind, including me. I respect everybody's opinion, but some of the things that I hear people saying is just ridiculous. At the same time, I understand it. We all have opinions and it's free to voice them. I try not to speak on what others say because I don't want to seem like I know it all. Every once in a while, I pay attention to what others are saying and it's funny. So many opinions are based on nothing at all and there are no facts at all. Preconceived notions are accepted as fact and that's the end of it all. It's been going on for so many years that people have parlayed their opinions into stardom. Most times it all feels like it's for shock value. I honestly can't fathom someone actually believing some of the things that I hear or see everyday. Rush Limbaugh comes to mind. But he's an idiot so he doesn't matter. But that's just my opinion. And I'm entitled to that. Obviously there are people who agree with what he's saying or he wouldn't even exist. We all have to accept that there will always be people saying dumb...well let's just leave it at that. This world is an ugly place. There will always be people around to spread hate and ignorance. We have to weed through all that. It gets hard, but it's doable. I stopped watching BET and I don't really keep up with the news. I'll continue to educate myself and continue to make sure that I take care of my business. Nothing outside of that really matters. That's just my opinion.

...Something Springs Eternal???

It's only March, but something seems different. I've never seen as much snow as I did this year. I didn't get much money back from my taxes. Wait a minute...that's not the road I was supposed to be going down...Like I was saying, something seems different. Imagine my surprise when I did some snooping around and found out that Bilal is "scheduled" to release a new album this year. It has a title and everything. For those who have been following me, you know how big a fan I am of his work. To continue, the Saints won the Super Bowl. I just couldn't find that old jersey that I wore when I was a loyal fan, but I'm still happy for them. Eric Roberson came back. I finally made up my mind about something I've been wanting to do since I was a little boy, but I can't speak on that yet. Can you believe I have finished my book? I can't either but It's true. It's only been about eight years since I started on it. I've actually started on the second part of it. One of the better developments so far this year is that I have been able to catch up with some people that I haven't seen in years, even though there is one person that I have lost contact with that saddens me. I really want that to change. Anyway, I find myself wondering if "The Chase" is getting closer to ending. I don't know. It's hard to tell. My brother's latest ink design for me looks incredible. And so on and so on. Thinks are looking up. Maybe a few other things will go my way. I can only hope.....

True Artists

As the list of credible music artist shrinks, two artists took the time to make another trip to The Rock this past weekend. Eric Roberson and Algebra Blessett were in town to perform. I had something come up that kept me from attending this show, which was disappointing to me. I had planned on going because it seems so rare that someone I want to see comes down here. Hopefully he will spread the word to other artists to let them know that we do listen to their music down here. Both Eric Roberson and Algebra are very underrated in the game. I wish they would get more publicity, but that's not the way things go now. Maybe one day things will change. Since I wasn't there, I had to get someone to at least record part of the show for me. I know the next time that anyone I want to see shows up here, I'm going. Speaking of that, my childhood friend is putting on a show this Saturday. I expect him to put on an excellent show. I've been gathering up people to show up. I try my best to support my people. Read the poster and check him out. I'll be there.

Hip Hop is still DEAD

Another Tuesday has arrived and there is nothing new that I want to hear on the music front. The last hip hop album I bought was back in 2008. That doesn't make sense. I love hip hop. I am hip hop. So it's hard to watch the game go down the drain like it has. I remember many dinner conversations, some heated, about hip hop music when I was younger. My parents didn't agree with the language so we we're allowed to listen to it. But my older brother put us on to it and we were hooked. There was a constant tug of war after that. Me and my brother would buy hip hop tapes, my parents would hear them and take them. We would find out where they hid them and listen to them whenever they left. And the cycle continued once we moved to CDs. Once I didn't have to worry about sneaking them in, the music started to suck. It's almost like all the trouble I got into was for nothing. Don't get me wrong, I still listen to hip hop and there are still plenty of people putting out true hip hop music. But the difference now is that we have to search for it. And there are only a few that I listened to back in the day are still around. Lyricism was important, but now, if you make people dance then you getting paid. The art doesn't matter anymore. There's no creativity and those who try to show any sign of creativity or artistry get bashed, especially if it's something different from what they were doing. Andre 3000 is a perfect example. When Outkast first came out, they were different from everybody else out there. Soon after, followers came. Outkast helped to put the south on the map. Then Andre 3000 started dressing different and the music changed some. People had the nerve to question his sexuality and stopped listening to the music. What does that have to do with anything? I don't know him personally but I know he loves hip hop. Listen to his verse on Mighty O and you'll see what I'm talking about. It's hard waiting for Big Boi to put his album out, or Black Star to do another one, or even Nas to drop a guest verse. But I love it so that's what I'll do always. Hip Hop might not be dead, but it needs a heart transplant.

Black History Something

It's February and that means that it's Black History Month. Personally, I think this month should not be celebrated as Black History Month. I understand the reason it was done and everything, but why have a month set aside to do that? Why not celebrate our contributions year round? This month has gone the same way that Dr. King's birthday has. The education system will never inform anybody of what we have done which is why we have to do it ourselves. This is the one time of the year when all these networks show what they call "classic." Most times it's movies from the black and white era that should be shown, but shouldn't only be shown in February. That is what modern Black actors came from. Back then they had no choice. Now they do, but we still have Tyler Perry. I'm not going down that road here though. African Americans built this country. We don't need a month to validate that. We have to educate ourselves because our history has so much more to offer than we are taught in school.

Headbanging

I'm starting to think that I need to go to the doctor. I'm not sure but feels like I have insomnia. Maybe I just need to reteach myself how to fall asleep. It's so hard when you can't clear your head. I have been like this for at least ten years now. Waking up early no matter what time I went to sleep and tossing and turning all night. Constantly thinking keeps me up at night. Right now it's 11:27p.m. and here I am, just starting my thoughts. It's driving me crazy and the thing that I can't figure out is if it's slowly killing me. I've been sitting here with a banging headache since before I came home from work. It probably started like five hours ago. I expose myself to so much punishment that you would think I enjoy it. I don't. It's just what I'm use to. I put so much pressure on myself to do everything myself that I become exhausted. One of my biggest fears is becoming sick. The sad part is that so much of it is brought on by me. As much as I feel that I'm meant for bigger things, I find myself stuck in neutral. What amazes me is that I inspire when I don't even try. This past week I have found my focus again, which may be the gift and the curse. My picture is much clearer in a sense but now I have to question more things. Did I mess up a good situation with my "friend" by just accepting that "us" had become stagnant? Why not work on progress? Why haven't I moved yet? It's a frightening thought to have no direction. I can't keep going along for the ride on my own trip. Frustration is a word that I use way too often. I give so much of myself that I have nothing left for myself. I try so hard to not show my emotions but sometimes I can't help it. My face tells the full story. Something has been bugging the hell out of me for a while now, but I just can't put my finger on what it is. Maybe I just need a hobby...I wish I had somewhere that I could just put all my feelings down for others to see how I really feel without any toes being stepped on.............

King

Last Friday was the birthday of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. It seems like that day and the observation on Monday both came and went. A little more than a year ago. This country's first Black president was sworn in. I still feel there is a disconnect from that era for many of my peers. It's hard to appreciate the sacrifices that were made during the civil rights era unless you see it or talk to someone who went through it. In November I spent a few days in Georgia and Alabama. History has taught us only a portion of what happened in the south. Pictures are worth a thousand words and some of the things that I saw opened my eyes. I was looking for places to move to and because of the history that I previously knew about Alabama, I never gave much thought to moving there. What I realized is that the racism was so widespread that it's unfair to say that one state's history was worse that another. Mississippi's history is just as bad along with South Carolina, Texas, etc. It amazed me when I heard the stories of the people who made the same sacrifice that Dr. King did. Dr. King became the face of the movement, but so many others gave their lives. I always felt uncomfortable bringing that time up with my parents because I knew of the pain behind it. My father came with me on this trip and I get the feeling he wanted me to see it for myself. The anger is still lingering but now it has been mostly replaced with confidence, intelligence, and determination. He would have made it regardless. I think that is where most of my confidence comes from. I don't have to say "The Man" is holding me back because I have basically the same opportunity as everyone else. For that, I'm indebted to not only Dr. King, but the many others like him, including my parents, who endured the hardships so that I don't have to. I think I'll add the third Monday of Every January to my list of days to take off.

When Disaster Strikes

So it's been a little over a week since the first earthquake struck Haiti. Today another one struck. This one was almost as powerful as the first one. I can only imagine the desperation that is felt in Haiti right now. I want to help, but my cynical nature won't let me. I think back on what happened back in '05 and it makes me upset to think of how long it took to get help to New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina. Maybe that situation hits closer to home because I knew people who were down there when the situation was at it's worst. But I always feel like you should take care of home first. It just seems like so many people take advantage of a bad situation that it's hard for us to trust them. How do we know that the money we send to Red Cross etc. is going straight to Haiti? Corporations and celebrities can say that they have given so much, but how can we be sure? In the end, it doesn't matter what they do but I just don't trust that what I would give would get to where it needs to. I wish I didn't think like that. I really want to help. My Thanksgiving in '05 was spent in New Orleans. There was no hesitation when I was asked could I go. It's just a strange situation to me because I just can't get those images out of my mind from New Orleans even though that was five years ago. Maybe I should just give what I can and call it a day. I can't go to Haiti.

Rush Hour

For once, I'll let someone else speak for me.

Best Rapper Alive???

So Lil Wayne came to town this past weekend. Now he is the self proclaimed best rapper alive and there are plenty of people who would agree with him. I am not included in that group. It's been well documented that my favorite MC is Nas. And with that I think he's the best rapper alive. Nas is better lyrically, a better story teller, more diverse, and just flat out better than anybody else to me. I don't have Lil Wayne in my top anything because I don't like him. I went to college in Louisiana so I heard quite a bit from him during that time. I never heard him say anything that was cold. Most of the time, I didn't realize when his verse began or ended. He bores me. I could start naming names of people who I think are better than Wayne. In my opinion, Andre 3000, Common, Ghostface, Talib Kweli, Elzhi, Royce da 5'9, Big Boi, Jay Electronica, Lupe Fiasco, Eminem, Jay-z, Kanye, Gza, Reakwon, Phonte, Cee-lo, Mos Def, Scarface, Ludacris, Bun B and so many others are colder than Lil Wayne. I could keep going but it would take too long. Of course for saying this I will be called a hater. If having an opinion makes me a hater, then so be it. I don't know what the attraction is to Lil Wayne and I've tried to figure it out. I'm lost. He's not cold. It's impossible to convince me of that. I have asked a few Wayne fans to recite on cold line he's said and they rarely can. The ones that they have recited are beyond ordinary. Can anybody tell me one time that he had the best verse on a posse song or even a song with just one other person? My boy Nas has never been shown up in song, no matter if it's Rakim, Jay-z, or even Wayne. Wayne will never have an Illmatic. Plus he stole his idea for the album cover of The Carter III from Illmatic. Listen to the remix of Ghetto Rich by Rich Boy and see who has the best verse. Trust me, it's not Lil Wayne.

The Chase III

So here we are again. It's been a minute since I had to talk about the chase. I'm back at it though. It's funny how much effort can be put into something that never really worked. All it takes is one thing to keep you around. It's hard to ignore signs, but it's easy to deal with them. All our time is valuable, but sometimes we waste it searching for something that never exists. Romance becomes a game, entangling many emotions and reactions. Thoughts are always reactionary. Hindsight is too late to save anything. What's done is done. No need to go back and play the same game that was hindering the relationship in the first place. My heart wasn't one hundred percent in. This wasn't supposed to happen anyway. It just...happened. Its hard to expect the unexpected when nothing surprises you. It's life...take it as it comes. Shout out to all those who have finished the chase. Me, I'm still at it. It is hard to walk away when four letter words are thrown out in desperation. But we have to do what's best for us. Maybe it was a mistake to go down this road because it damages the friendship. There's that hindsight thing again. I'm not going to badmouth anybody, unlike the other half. I don't feel it's right, but some choose to go that route. Whatever. It's all good. I can move on.

Avatar

Umm...I didn't understand it. I see all the reviews and so forth. But I wasn't impressed. After a while I was trying not to fall asleep. I gave up trying to understand it around hour eight or whatever it was. Maybe I tried to read too much into the story. I don't know. I give credit where it's due. The visuals were incredible, if not awkward, with the the 3D glasses on. But other than that, I really didn't like the movie. I'm happy for Zoe Saldana, even though she is unrecognizable in the movie. I'll just add this one to the list of movies that I'm in the minority on. For those that don't know, I think The Matrix sucked. I seem to be only person who feels that way. That movie was boring and so was Avatar. Just my opinion, as always.