The NBA held it's draft lottery last week. My pelicans benefited from it a couple years ago, but I honestly despise the way that it's set up. I understand that it keeps teams from tanking every season and I understand the entertainment value of it. It still seems like a twisted system that doesn't always help the worst team in the league. The Cleveland Cavaliers have won the top pick in 3 of the last 4 years. And they still suck. I'm not mad because we don't have a first round pick this year. That blame falls on our GM. I don't like that the worst team doesn't get the top pick. That's why some teams stay bad for so long. The playing field isn't completely level with the amount of small market teams that can't afford to pay the luxury tax for going over the salary cap. This makes it seems like a team has to bottom out and hope they get the top pick or settle for mediocrity. Cleveland was only 5 games out of a playoff spot after getting the top pick last year. Give the worst team the first pick and see if that levels the playing field. It may make things worse, but it will get rid of the ammunition for the conspiracy theorists who think that the lottery is a set up.
I've been talking about the chase for years now. At different points, I thought it was over, but never really sure. When I thought it was over, my actions didn't reflect that belief. I'm getting older now so the chase is not as interesting. My parents have been married longer than I've been alive. When I was younger, I wanted that too and thought that it was a given that it would happen. Now I'm not so sure. It's so hard to find someone that you mesh with. I was always told that you had to work at relationships, but I didn't always put in the work to make them work. Maybe I just didn't know how. Or I just let them play themselves out. It's so difficult to figure out what I really want. Just when I thought everything was fine, it all fell apart. It was my fault, but I didn't think it would be. I want to make everything work. I want to be married and have a family that I can vacation with. A family that motivates me to do more than I ever have. I've honestly never been in a better relationship. I'm probably as happy as I've been and this is the most time I've ever spent with someone. There is something to that. So I think it will work itself out. I'm going to put in the extra energy to ensure it does. I opened myself probably more than I ever have. It was embarrassing, but something that I needed to do. That was only the beginning of the healing process. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere.
