Regrets

Life has a way of humbling the most arrogant person.  We all have expectations that we meet, or fail to meet.  I'm not immune to that.  I had dreams growing up that I didn't even make an attempt to pursue.  Decisions made after chasing your dreams can lead to disappointment.  I remember as a child wanting to be a marine biologist.  I'm thirty three now and still can't swim, so that dream was definitely a pipe dream.  I can honestly say that my life is filled with regrets about decisions that I've made.  I can laugh about most of the regrets that I have because they weren't realistic anyway.  I thought I was cold at basketball and use to practice for hours everyday.  I hit more game winning shots than Kobe or Jordan in my backyard.  Reality kicked in and I didn't play basketball past seventh grade.  The truth is that I hate organized basketball.  So I stopped playing, even though I love the game still.  It's sad because I can't tell you the last time I've even played a pickup game.  I don't regret quitting basketball.  I didn't take any sports too serious in high school because I didn't plan on taking them any further.  I wish I had taken my academics further.  I realized when I got to college that I had no idea how to study and it truly hurt my grades.  I graduated in just over four years, but my GPA isn't pretty.  I was tired of school before I even went to college, so I just wanted to get it over with.  That kept me from joining my fraternity right out of school and the thought of going to graduate school was thrown out of the window afterwards.  I wanted to go into psychology and I still think about it from time to time.  I regret not keeping in touch with my people from high school when I left for school.  I've missed out on so much and vice versa.  I'm just now getting back into that space, but it feels awkward because I wasn't around for so many years.  When I went to college, the only person I knew there was my brother and I rarely saw him.  I felt alone and was miserable the entire time I was down there.  Honestly I think that is why I'm a little anti social now.  Some things I wish had turned out different, but I don't regret the decision that was made.  This won't be a platform to air out my dirty laundry.  Some things are better left unsaid and some things are understood.  These are topics that I have never touched on before and there are probably people who don't know these things about me.  But I'm human and I think about how my life would be different if I had made some different decisions.  Now that I have a daughter I'm trying to make sure that she doesn't follow the path that I did.  I want her to pursue every avenue that she wants in her life.  At times, I'm embarrassed by where I'm at in life because I expected more.  But that's life.  At the end of the day, I'm proud of everything that I've accomplished and I look forward to a different type of chase.

Black Mamba

So there will be some sad people today as it is Kobe "Bean" Bryant's last game.  My disdain for Kobe is deeply rooted.  It goes back to draft night.  I'm a Charlotte Hornets/New Orleans Hornets/New Orleans Pelicans fan and have been for at least twenty five years, if not more.  I'm very loyal to my teams and I have to admit that I've been bitter about Kobe his entire career.  The fortunes of my team could've been turned around if he actually stayed with my team.  The audacity of an eighteen year old kid to say he won't  play for a team that drafted him.  I know people will say that his dream was to play for the Lakers, but that doesn't matter.  I hate the fact that my team even traded him.  If that is who they wanted, they should've kept him.  The only thing they got back was Vlade Divac.  That will go down in history as one of the most lopsided trades ever, in any sport.  That's the true sign of a poorly ran organization.  Now that my rant is over, I'll pay my respects.  Kobe will go down as one of the greatest players of all time, regardless of position.  The discussion can be made that he might be the greatest Laker of all time.  I don't agree but that will be a popular opinion.  I don't care about the off the court issues he had.  Focusing strictly on the court, he is the second best shooting guard ever and I would put him in my top ten.  Bias is a real thing, and I have it.  But putting that to the side, congratulations to Kobe on a great career.  

6 Months

10-10-15.  We started that journey inconspicuously.  I had no intentions on going in this direction, but I couldn't be happier with the results.  Six months ago, we were married.  So far it has been everything.  We spend all our free time together and that has made our bond stronger.  I wasn't looking for a relationship when I met my wife.  She forced me to rethink the way I felt about marriage.  I had given up on getting married, and had accepted the single life.  I'm not going to throw a boatload of adjectives out to describe my wife.  That's been done a million times.  I'll just say that it feels good to know that someone will always be there for you, no matter what the situation is.  She has inspired me to start chasing my dreams.  Sometimes I need that confidence boost that you can only get from someone who truly believes in you.  If I could only convince her that she is capable of anything she wants to do or be, then the world would be a happier place.  But that's a post for another day.  Today we celebrate six months together.  Alishia Lashay Whitmore Freeman, cheers to us!!!

Rebirth

So it's been while since I've done anything on here.  I have to get back in the habit of writing.  I've finally put my book in the hands of someone who can do something with it.  It's a scary thing to give that control away.  So much has changed since the last time I did anything here.  I am now a married man.  I am a member of the Omega Psi Phi Fraternity Inc.  I work in Conway now.  I've have two accidents, the last being intense.  Going through two vehicles is not fun.  Now I drive a red Hyundai Santa Fe, after having a green one.  Our daughter in now in her second year of pre-k.  More changes are sure to be coming my way.  I'm ready for whatever comes.  I'll have to ease into the habit of this being my voice box.  So tonight I won't say much.  I'll save that for later.