Belle

So I went to see Belle yesterday.  Sure it was a decent movie.  It could have been better, but all in all it was good.  I was coaxed into going and I didn't mind it.  There were a couple things that caught my eye while I was in the theater.  So a movie about the first Black Aristocrat didn't really open to a wide audience.  It wasn't even showing here when it first came out.  Maybe they brought it here after it performed better than expected at the box office.  Honestly I didn't think that there would be that many people at the movies to see it.  So to see that room packed was  a good thing.  I would say that it was only about twenty percent Black in there.  I wasn't surprised by that.  There just hasn't been much publicity about the movie at all.  I don't think that I've seen one commercial yet.  Going to movie also reminded me of how much I hate packed theaters.  You have no control over what other people do and how they act in a situation where they should be on their best behavior.  I was so annoyed by constant coughing and talking during the movie.  It never makes sense to me how people act like that.  It makes the movie going experience that much worse.  But after a while all that ceases.  This movie is essentially a romantic drama.  So the awkwardness of being in that movie and hearing the audience laugh a couple times when the lead character was called "Negro", "Colored", or "Mullato" was confusing to me.  I didn't find it funny, nor do I think it was meant to be funny.  Even if the way that it was said may have sounded funny, that wasn't the purpose.  Context can be everything sometimes and maybe I'm taking this out of context.  But it did irritate me a little bit when I heard that laughter.  I thought the laughter was misplaced.  Maybe I'm just overreacting, but it didn't make sense to me.  The movie itself was not groundbreaking and was quite a bit predictable.  Honestly I almost went to sleep during the movie.  It's not for everybody.  So don't take my word on the movie.  Make up your own mind about the movie.   Then you can form an opinion.  

Jackpot

The NBA held it's draft lottery last week.  My pelicans benefited from it a couple years ago, but I honestly despise the way that it's set up.  I understand that it keeps teams from tanking every season and I understand the entertainment value of it.  It still seems like a twisted system that doesn't always help the worst team in the league.  The Cleveland Cavaliers have won the top pick in 3 of the last 4 years.  And they still suck.  I'm not mad because we don't have a first round pick this year.  That blame falls on our GM.  I don't like that the worst team doesn't get the top pick.  That's why some teams stay bad for so long.  The playing field isn't completely level with the amount of small market teams that can't afford to pay the luxury tax for going over the salary cap.  This makes it seems like a team has to bottom out and hope they get the top pick or settle for mediocrity.  Cleveland was only 5 games out of a playoff spot after getting the top pick last year.  Give the worst team the first pick and see if that levels the playing field.  It may make things worse, but it will get rid of the ammunition for the conspiracy theorists who think that the lottery is a set up.  

The Chase V

I've been talking about the chase for years now.  At different points, I thought it was over, but never really sure.  When I thought it was over, my actions didn't reflect that belief.  I'm getting older now so the chase is not as interesting.  My parents have been married longer than I've been alive.  When I was younger, I wanted that too and  thought that it was a given that it would happen.  Now I'm not so sure.  It's so hard to find someone that you mesh with.  I was always told that you had to work at relationships, but I didn't always put in the work to make them work.  Maybe I just didn't know how.  Or I just let them play themselves out.  It's so difficult to figure out what I really want.  Just when I thought everything was fine, it all fell apart.  It was my fault, but I didn't think it would be.  I want to make everything work.  I want to be married and have a family that I can vacation with.  A family that motivates me to do more than I ever have.  I've honestly never been in a better relationship.  I'm probably as happy as I've been and this is the most time I've ever spent with someone.  There is something to that.  So I think it will work itself out.  I'm going to put in the extra energy to ensure it does.  I opened myself probably more than I ever have.  It was embarrassing, but something that I needed to do.  That was only the beginning of the healing process.  I'm here.  I'm not going anywhere.

Adam Silver

That was quick...and just.  The NBA commissioner came down with the punishment and I'm glad that he did.  The $2.5 million fine is just a drop in the bucket, but it's the most that the NBA could take from him.  I wasn't sure that the punishment would be this drastic.  I only hoped that it would.  So I'm happy with the results.  This is only the beginning of this process.  I guarantee that Donald Sterling is not going to give up ownership of his franchise easily.  The owners will vote him out, but it won't end there.  But Adam Silver has done a stellar job so far.  This was the first big decision that he had to make as the new commissioner.  A lifetime ban was a good call.  That way he won't have to worry about who shows up at "his" games anymore.  Well he'll have total control over who comes to his house to watch the games.  The worst part about everything is that it took away from what has been extremely exciting playoff games.  We have been talking about this situation all weekend.  Seven overtime games.  Only two series that haven't been competitive.  This is what is more important than a known racist outing himself.  I don't know that Adam Silver is going to be a great commissioner.  He hasn't even been in the position ninety days yet.  But this was a bold statement that he made and it was the right one.  An owner just cannot make statements like this.  I don't care that he was raised that way.  That's an excuse that only holds weight for so long.  As an adult, you get to decide how you feel about certain things.  I understand the time that he was raised in, but his mentality should have changed by now.  That works both ways too.  There are people who still hold the same attitudes from the Civil Rights on both sides, Black and White.  It's obvious that that type of attitude will not be tolerated from someone in such a powerful position.  For one day, I'll be a Clippers fan.  But Blake Griffin still sucks, sadly. 

Donald Sterling

The NBA is in an uproar right now because of something that Donald Sterling said.  Why is there so much surprise over this?  He has been doing this for years.  From being a slumlord, to being sued by his own employees, to not housing minorities in his apartments, this is a pattern of behavior.  He shouldn't be an owner.  Adam Silver should take the team away from him.  I don't know what the process would be, but I know that is something that can be done.  It happened in baseball with Marge Schott.  The Clippers have been a joke since he took over anyway.  To take a shot at Magic Johnson, who helped revitalize the league, is a ridiculous.  I wish the players would boycott the rest of the playoffs to make a point.  They have championship aspirations so it would be understandable if they didn't boycott, but it sure would make a statement.  Minorities have helped him maintain his fortune.  It almost seems like he's living in different time period.  There is no other way to describe his attitude towards race.  I love how the face of the NBA spoke up quickly about the situation.  LeBron James said there is no place for Donald Sterling in the NBA.  He's totally right.  Adam Silver hopefully makes the right call and removes him from his position.  He doesn't deserve to own a team and continue to make money on people he feels are inferior.  Shame on the NAACP for even considering giving him a lifetime achievement award.  But that is something that I have grown to expect from them too.  All I hope for is a quick resolution.

Waking Up

Last year, I lost a very close friend.  Sometimes it's hard to understand why these things happen.  Barely a year after seeing her and finding out that she had cancer, she was gone.  It opened my eyes to how short life is.  It also made me realize that there are things that I just won't be able to accomplish in my life no matter how hard I try.  I feel bad knowing that I couldn't make her pain go away.  How can you accept that you're going to die before your 30th birthday?  That's asking too much.  So who do we blame?  It's impossible to be mad at the creator because we have no say in the matter.  Maybe more research can be done on cancer.  Perhaps the doctors could have put more effort into trying to get rid of the cancer.  My emotions ran wild during that period until I realized that she was at peace with it.  What right did I have to be upset if she had accepted it?  I still think about it from time to time.  Her name is still saved in my contacts.  Our prom picture is on the bookshelf in the living room at my parents' house.  I have constant reminders.  Little things can be taken for granted, like walking or having hair.  There are people who can't perform simple tasks from no doing of their own.  Life constantly throws curve balls.  We have to be able to deal with them as they come.  It gets difficult at times.  I'm sure there are people who have dealt with far more issues than I have.  I've been blessed with people around me who care for my well being.  I'm made mistakes and I'm paying for them now.  I'm at the point in my life where I want to give back.  I feel like I have so much more to offer than I have so far in my life.  So where do I start? 

ObamaCares

The most annoying thing to see when you turn on the television is political ads.  I can't speak for anybody else, but I hate them.  I despise them.  I don't think I can change the channel fast enough.  I don't even care what is being said.  I can't stand the fact that they seem to be on a constant loop like it's a radio station.  It doesn't make sense to me.  I can't imagine how much money is spent on those ads.  Now the hot topic in these ads is so called Obamacare.  I don't know who came up with that term, but it has always seemed offensive to me.  Anyway, the method appears to be to vote against whoever voted for the Affordable Healthcare Act.  It's too late for that.  Accept the loss and move on.  There was plenty of time to do research and get the facts about the plan.  What I can't understand is why some people are so against everyone having some form of healthcare.  From the moment I started working, I've had health insurance.  I've been healthy all my life, even when I played contact sports.  As small as I am, it's surprising that I didn't get hurt more often.  I was only twenty three when I started working.  I didn't have any health issues so I would have been fine without the insurance, in a perfect world.  As we all know, the world is not perfect.  I had health insurance and I had to make a couple trips to the hospital for the first time in my life.  Thankfully they only cost me forty bucks with my insurance.  If I didn't have insurance, I wouldn't have made any visits to the doctor.  I would have just suffered like so many others.  But I made a conscious effort not to go without insurance.  Some people choose not to do that.  It's a choice, just like this plan was a choice.  I had the option of choosing the new healthcare or what I had been using for almost eight years.  I chose to keep what I was using.  That was my choice though.  A commercial wasn't going to influence what I was going to do.  

Pelicans Fly

I never hide my sports allegiances.  No matter whether my team is horrible or wonderful, I still stand there with them.  So I'm a fan of the New Orleans Pelicans, formerly Charlotte Hornets.  That's how far back I go with them.  Today is the last day of the regular season.  Unfortunately we didn't make the playoffs.  If it wasn't for all the injuries, we probably would have made the playoffs.  I still think we did pretty good considering the injuries.  I had the time of my life when I went to see them play live.  And the game was out of town.  It was a beautiful thing.  Luckily we won or it would have been an ugly thing.  Next year if a few things fall right, we will make some noise in the league.  Fans of bad teams always say next year.  It's was helps us keep our sanity.  Sometimes it's too easy to say I'm just going to change teams.  I've only done it once, but I still have a soft spot for that original team.  The Hornets/Pelicans has always been my basketball team and I'm extremely loyal. There is always light at the end of the tunnel.  Anthony Davis is going to be unstoppable when he adds a few more pounds to his frame.  He is already the best power forward in the league in my opinion.  But I'm biased.  There is so much talent on this team that I know they should be better than the record they have.  Coaching may become an issue moving forward though.  Coaches have egos and they get in the way.  Occasionally you'll see a coach go completely against what they are known for and it has worked.  This is one circumstance where I think the coach needs to go against everything that he believes in.  Monty Williams is still so young that you just assume he can change for the better.  Stubbornness is also one trait that he has.  If he gets past that, he could be a great coach.  Until then, I'll hold out hope.  I plan on going to another game next season.  I really don't have much else to say.  It was a disappointing season.  But I will remind everyone of just how vicious a pelican can and will be.

Air Vent

I stopped doing all this writing a while ago, not realizing that this was my way of getting things out in the air.  It's funny.  The last three years of my life have probably been the most challenging for me so far.  Things that normally came easy to me became difficult and I couldn't put my finger on why.  I lost track of what made me who I was and who I still am.  I still exist inside this shell of my former self.  I'm trying to get back to what I was.  This could be the beginning of that.  This was my vent.  I could get so much off my chest without any regrets.  My twin is getting older now and when I see her I often wonder what she will become.  The drama surrounding her is really childish and I just hope it doesn't affect her negatively.  When she gets older she can go back and see where my head was at during that part of my life.  That time will come and we'll see what happens.  I'm just trying to clear my head more often so I'm not losing tons of sleep every night. It can't be good for my health.  It seems like there may be a renewed interest in what I have to say, not necessarily because what I have to say is so wonderful.  It feels more like people what to see me do something that I have put in the time and effort to make successful.  That doesn't even matter to me.  As long as somebody is reading it, I'll keep writing it.  Maybe somebody needs a laugh that I provide or just a different perspective on something.  Take it for what it is.

Brand New

I know it's been a while since I've posted anything but I'm back by popular demand. There have been quite a few changes in my life that have changed my outlook on life. Everyday there seems to be something new that either infuriates me or blows my mind. I'm older now so different things are more important to me. I make it a point to pull out every gray hair that shows up on my face immediately. Now there is this assumption of marriage in my future. It's possible. I just enjoy being happy. I don't like drama but it seems to be right outside my door daily. But when I'm at home it's different. So many years I was always the person that was depended on to make things better. It's good to know that I don't have to carry that weight alone. I had this reputation, true or untrue, that I was some type of ladies man. Now the word is that I'm beyond saving from marriage. Somebody even tried to take my player card awhile back. And I didn't even put up a fight. Is this it? Am I done for? I truthfully don't know. I'm just playing everything by ear. Maybe it's just the way it was meant to happen, but I'm done fighting it. The worst thing that can happen is I have to move. That's not too bad right?