Pain

Pain: suffering or distress of body or mind.  We feel pain as soon as we enter this world.  But at that point the only thing we can do is cry.  As we grow older we learn how to deal with pain.  We all deal with it in our own ways.  Emotional pain can be much more devastating than physical pain.  A few years ago I remember sitting in my grandmother's funeral.  I didn't really feel anything that day.  I clearly remember being there.  I was sitting in the front row because I was a pall bearer.  We were all prepared for that day, but some people still cried.  As hard as I tried I couldn't.  What's strange about that is that I wondered for a couple years after that why I didn't cry.  I thought something was wrong with me because I didn't feel pain.  Maybe I'm just blowing this whole thing out of proportion, but it really bothered me.  Sometimes it seems like I don't care about quite a few things.  Nonchalant could be my nickname.  Truth is that I do care and I'm very passionate about quite a few things.  My anger sometimes disguises my pain.  I bury that pain for another day.  I will probably continue to do that.  It's what I'm trained to do.  The only time it comes out is in my writing.  It's one reason why I write.  I can't think of any better way than to put it in a form that I can go back and look at forever.  I can't think of anything.