Family

So I had a family reunion this weekend. Just like any other family, I have many talented people in my family. I'm a very prideful person, so it's hard for me to listen to all these things that they have going on. I don't have nearly the same amount of things going on, but I have the potential to. So I'm now trying to convince myself to go ahead and start doing what I want to do. I've said that too many times. I'm like the boy that cried wolf. Who believes me when I say these things? I don't even believe it myself anymore. It bugs me that I have to look at my pops and wonder if I wasted his time, even though he feels like I'm on the right track. They support me in whatever I do. But I'm not happy and haven't been for a while. As much as I try to live for myself I can't help but put pressure on myself because of the sacrifices that were made for me. How else can I feel? I have to do more than I am now. This should have been an enjoyable weekend for me and it was. But at times I couldn't ignore how my ego made me feel. I'm probably blowing this all out of proportion but maybe I'm not. Something or somebody has to light a fire under me. I can't seem to motivate myself anymore.