Change is necessary

I think I need a vacation. And then I need a permanent change of scenery. My life has become stagnant. I'm way too young to not have any energy when I come home from work. Even on my days off, it feels like I'm recovering from the days that I worked. My job shouldn't be that tedious in any way. They don't pay me enough for that. It's so hard for me to bite my tongue at work when I see so many things wrong with the way things go there. I have a college degree that I'm not using. I feel like I wasted my dad's money and about five years of my life. Even right now, I don't know what I want to be when I grow up. Do I want to write? Maybe I should go back to school for psychology. Can I rap? I don't know, but I know I'm tired of The Lowe's. Maybe I just need a vacation. But something tells me it's so much more than that. I don't know. Why is it so hard to find a job that you actually enjoy and not just something to pay the bills? Money is not my motivation at this point but I want to be fairly compensated if I am always asked to do more than my job description. The training that I'm going through now is basically brainwashing me to be a hypocrite by telling me how things are supposed to be done, even though I know they don't go like that. So who's at fault there? How can I tell my superior "No"? Whatever. I'm just venting. I was happy to finally get out on my own and to have my own, but nothing is going like I thought it would. It's so frustrating for me to tell people what I do in my free time because I don't have anything to say. I have so many interest but never pursue them. I have to find a way to get out of this hole. I need a vacation. Soon.......